How about going out for a sail, swim, drink, run, or meet friends, play with your children,
talk to your partner – without your head still being full of work-related information?
It can be difficult to leave work related thoughts behind at the end of the day. Too many people arrive
home and are not really present. Their body might have walked through the door but mentally they are miles away. This seems to be the reality in today's world. Remember: There is more to life than just work.
You do need some kind of balance between down-time and work to be the most effective. 
Clarity will come easier if you give your brain a rest. It is amazing what thoughts, ideas, solutions and insights can come to you by creating some space for them.
 
This is a common topic with my coaching clients. I might work with five different clients all on this particular topic, yet each one will find his or her own unique way to help themselves unwind and reenter their personal life.
 
First of all, it helps to remember and accept as an important truth that your work is only part of your life. It is wonderful if you love what you do and have passion for your work, but do not forget that your personal life is at least as important as your work.
 
The goal is not to neglect your work but also not neglect your family, friends, and self.
Establish and maintain a routine of self-care – start by unwinding from work on your way home.
Some examples that help my clients include: listening to music or an audiobook in the car or on the train, taking a walk and being more mindful while doing so, meeting a friend, or exercise.
Start instilling this habit and you will experience life as more satisfying, rewarding, happy, and healthier in mind and body.

To reach your potential as well as feel content in the course of your life, having Life Skills is essential.
They are the “software” you have the option to acquire along the way.
You are born with the “hardware”; your body.
Your behaviour comes under the heading “software” because this can be changed, improved, modified, extended or even deleted if necessary.

Many of these Life Skills are received in the home and at school while growing up, others you learn later in your development, taught by “the school of life”, friends, colleagues, courses, books, teachers, trainers, and coaches. You can also teach yourself with patience and practice based on all of the above, plus past experiences, both positive and negative ones.

What makes one person successful while others keep struggling?
Everybody goes through difficult phases, has obstacles to overcome and disappointments to heal. This cannot be avoided. How you cope with all of these is the key to making your life a success.

Life Skills offer support with how you handle your life. They can be defined as a group of cognitive and personal abilities that enhance your capability to lead a life in which you reach your potential.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses; getting to know them is important in the process of finding out “who” you are and therefore “what” you want.
Not everybody has the same dream. You should not judge others but find your way forward based on your own values. The success of some people is not a matter of luck; they will have learned how to manage their life, and they will have acquired the life skills - the “software”.
​Understanding that life is about change, which is inevitable, is one of the first steps on this ladder to the top! Your personal worth will benefit knowing you have the necessary skills in life to face everything that comes your way with confidence.

by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach focusing on Self-Development,
​Self-help Author since 2014.
Photocredit: Cottonbro / Pexels

Excerpt from the 1st Edition (2014)of BALANCE - a Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments.
3rd Updated version available in the Amazon Store of your country, or,
on iTunes / Audible as an Audiobook if you prefer listening.

“Challenges in life either do or do not have solutions.
If there is a solution somewhere,
then there is no need to be overwhelmed by the challenge.
If there genuinely is no solution,
then there is no point being overwhelmed by it”.
​
Unknown

If you genuinely believe there is a solution to every problem there is a greater likelihood that you will find the solution. Personally, I believe the approach “where there is a will, there is a way.” I do not always find the way as soon as I had hoped for – which can sometimes be due to a lack of motivation. I then remind myself that I know nothing stays the same and therefore have nothing to fear.
Things will change even if I do nothing.
Obviously, I might not get the outcome I had hoped for but then again if I chose not to get myself motivated then that was my choice!
When I find myself lacking motivation I either find someone to talk to or brainstorm with me, or I take any time pressure off myself and see what comes up on its own.

Sometimes it is not the right time to deal with an issue, solve a work related problem, make a change or whatever the challenge is you might be facing. This does not mean you have given up on finding the solution. To me this means I am not in the right frame of mind, nor am I in a strong emotional place or have enough time, to focus on resolving whatever requires attention.

Really believing that you can find a solution to a problem gives you an advantage. This advantage is strength and personal power. You are more likely to overcome nearly all, if not all, the problems you are faced with. Sometimes the best solution is to walk away from something.

If an issue overwhelms me I break it down into smaller issues I can cope with.
I remember having to read through a rather large contract one day. The only way I could cope with it was to give myself permission to only have to read five pages in the morning and five pages in the afternoon. So, my solution was to break the reading down into smaller steps.

If you are fully convinced that a solution exists for every problem, then problems no longer feel like problems, instead they become tasks to deal with. I suggest they be regarded as projects that now need project management.
Your thinking makes a world of difference to what you achieve.

(an excerpt from the 1st edition of Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments.

​by Suzie Doscher, Professional Executive Coach since 2006, Self-help Author since 2014. 
​Photocredit: Pixaby/Pexels

Often plans, goals and wishes can be overwhelming. Overwhelming in that they might be fabulous thoughts and ideas however in reality you are not there yet and not even sure how to get there!

Feeling overwhelmed due to lack of time, outside pressures, demands, lack of clarity and a lack of energy can easily happen.

A good approach is to first consider what the reality is in the moment, now/today and only then explore the 'what ifs' - potential outcomes and consequences of the plan or goal.
​
Taking the time to connect with the present i.e. ‘what is’ will allow you to ground yourself. With this you can approach the feeling of overwhelm with both feet on the ground. 

Removing the emotions i.e. feeling of overwhelm, allows you to think more clearly. This has been proven by neuroscience: when emotions are present (have been triggered) the first thing to go are your cognitive abilities. This means you are emotional and not thinking clearly – you are emotional not rational.

To explore all the consequences of ‘what if’ is easier with a clear rational head.

Exploring all the possible ‘what ifs’ is necessary to break the goal, wish or desire down into small actionable steps.
If a change of your mindset/perspective is necessary, this shift could have occurred during the process of the 'what is' exploration.

One way or another you will gain some clarity by taking the time to do this.

At times this is easier said than done. The best approach can be to  simply start! 
Plan some time. 10 minutes will do. If you do not even start you will remain overwhelmed by it all. 
​Once you have taken one step, even a small one, you will feel it.
"One small step at a time will get you to the top of the ladder" ​

by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development, Self help Author since 2014
Photo credit: Unsplash

First of all I wish you Happy Holidays and a productive start to the  new year.

I am a big believer that moving forward means improving the existing quality of your life. Of course reaching goals and increasing your performance it important.
How you feel while you are doing this is what I believe makes up for quality of life.
You can be reaching goals and increasing your performance by pushing through, being competitive while running on an empty battery. At some point your body and emotional self will not be able to keep up.

To increase your quality of life I suggest doing things differently or adding something entirely new to your routine.
Maybe this is changing your location or job, or even friends, these are big changes. How about starting with
 getting rid of some behaviour patterns that no longer serve you? Replace them with behaviour patterns that do serve you.

I love personal growth & development. My personal as well as professional experience can vouch for that each step taken, even small steps, result in change. Imagine climbing up a ladder. With each step your view changes and brings a new perspective.
 
 Make the kind of changes that stick!
 
Life changes all the time, sometimes daily. During your lifetime you never stop growing, developing and learning, which of course means changing. If you resist this, you run the risk of staying stuck.
 
Here is how you start:

If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself; remember that it will only get worse if you leave it alone. But if you take steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown.

Some tips:

• Start the day with a relaxing ritual.
  Rather than jumping out of bed as soon as you wake up, spend a few minutes doing nothing – just lying there, or meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you. Whatever you chose to do that is realistic focus on it. If your children jump into bed with you and wake you up then try to focus on them. Children are grounded and in the moment. 
• Adopt healthy eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to deal with life's obstacles and demands. Start with one of them and attempt to follow through 2 -3 days per week. It is better to start than not at all or to set a goal that is bound not to be reached. You will feel so much better if you start slow and have a much better chance of following through. One step at a time gets you to the top of the ladder. 

Available in the Amazon Store of your country. In Paperback, on Kindle
​or as an Audiobook narrated by the author. (Audible or iTunes)

In order to stay calm and grounded it requires certain behaviors that feed being calm and grounded.

Each person will have their own requirements to feel calm and grounded.
What actions you need to take will most likely differ from someone else’s. 
Just as each person has their own interpretation of success, the same goes for feeling calm and grounded. Listen to yourself to know what is best for you.

Based on my own personal experience this also changes depending on our age:
I know when I was 30, my focus was very different to 40.

• At 30 I was focused on creating my family and being a wife and mother.
• At 40 I was involved with my children’s education and day to day life, I was not thinking of my goals. I did not really have any beyond my children’s wellbeing and development.
• At 50 I noticed that I had to get to know myself much better and feeling at peace and fulfilled became my goal. I found my purpose late but am thrilled it involves supporting others to grow.
• Turning 60 was fabulous as I had completely grown into my skin by then and was more than happy to focus on my core values and needs and knew exactly what grounds me and offers me that wonderful sense of calm.
• Approaching 70 my new goal is answering the question ‘how do I want this next chapter of my life to look and feel.

I have no complaints or regrets and admire the younger people I work with on their personal development while achieving and striving for their goals. I was never like that but love how my life was and is moving forward.  Each person will know what is right for them. Follow your heart and remember that 'you cannot take anything with you'. No matter what you achieve and how much you earn, how you feel is as important along the way. 


By Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development, Self-help author since 2014. 

Photo credit: Pexels​

These are a sample of options you have when in need of some stress relief:

• Take a break and leave the room. Find a quiet space, even the loo will do.  
• Compose yourself by taking at least 3 breaths. As you exhale, imagine a little bit of the tension leaving your body. (I find visualizing a dark cloud dissipating helpful.)
• Gather your thoughts.  
• Keep your focus on exactly what has been going on that is causing you the stress. Is it the task itself? How about more basic such as hunger or the space around you?
• Does it will involve another person or people… What is missing?  
• Once you know specifically what has thrown you out of balance, think about what can you do now to influence the situation.
• Consider all the steps required to find a solution. Make a list, if only a mental list.  
• What can you do today, right now?  Arrange your list in terms of priority. What has to be done first, then what?  
• Consider the practicalities of your action plan. Is it realistic? Have you the time?  
• Do you need advice or support? If so, whose?  
• Fine-tune the steps you consider necessary to resolve the situation. Keep things realistic to avoid feeling pressure.
• Having thought things through you may find the problem has changed in perspective. Adjust the plan accordingly.

It is most import to ensure that any action you propose to take is in keeping with your personality and can be executed in a style that suits you.
 
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Self-Help Author 

Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments 
3rd editon out now in any Amazon store worldwide 

Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Audible and iTunes.

Photo by Shutterstock

Thoughts that are keeping you awake clearly want some attention. Otherwise, they would not still be lurking around in the back of your head, keeping your mind and body from unwinding and relaxing into a good night’s sleep. Sleep helps process our emotions. I look at a good night’s sleep as comparable to an effective filing system – while sleeping, your mind files what needs to be kept. Your emotions process and discard anything unnecessary.

The emotions have time to settle, and your intuition has a chance to speak to you. A good night’s sleep allows for a fresh mind, the possibility of a new approach, to start the day feeling more balanced.
Thinking habits and problem-solving skills, no matter how good and effective they are, do not always allow for the mind to be at peace every night.

There is only so much you can do with your mind to help relax. Not being able to sleep usually happens when your thoughts are running away with you. These thoughts, more often than not, are from the immediate past or about the future – relating to something that may or may not happen tomorrow.
The best way to shift your thoughts away from worries is to focus on something else and engage your body in the process.

One proven method is to pay close attention to your breathing. Try this:

In case you haven’t heard, work-life balance is a myth. At Thrive, we’re all about work-life integration. It’s different from work-life balance in that it’s a more holistic — and realistic — approach. The truth is that none of us will ever achieve perfect balance, and striving to get there just stresses us out. Work-life integration acknowledges that sometimes work will demand more of your attention, and other times life will, but by setting boundaries and making sure you’re prioritizing healthy habits, you’ll be able to thrive in all facets of your life. 
We asked our Thrive community for their best tips for leaving work at work, and they had some pretty great strategies.

Listen to the Audiobook narration by Suzie Doscher of the exercise: Work of Family Hijacked Your Life?

It is all too often that we feel our life is no longer our own. Too many commitments and responsibilities taken up all your time. No time for yourself and your self-care.
Listen to the exercise from BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments narrated by the author Suzie Doscher.

BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments
​is exactly as the title states: A handbook to reach for when life is difficult.

Raise your hand if you sometimes get up on the wrong side of the bed and dread the entire workday ahead of you. I thought so. Even if you’re working from home, some days can be hard just getting out of your warm, cozy bed after a long weekend or a late night, especially when it’s cold, gray and rainy.

The “Start-of-Workday” Blues
Studies show that “start-of-workday” moods stay with you all day long and affect job performance and productivity. The more you focus on dread, the more it grows — nibbling away at you like torture from half a million cuts. Neuroscientists say this is based on the mind-body connection. The cells of your body constantly eavesdrop on your thoughts from the wings of your mind. When you have negative thoughts, your cells dump a biochemical cocktail creating dread. If you start the day with dread, it can create depression or anxiety of getting through more demands and deadlines.

A study by Nancy Rothbard and Steffanie Wilk observed a group of customer service representatives (CSRs) in an insurance company’s call center over several weeks. They sent CSRs periodic short surveys throughout the day, assessing their mood as they started the day, how they viewed work events such as customer interactions throughout the day and their mood during the day after those customer interactions. The duo used the company’s detailed performance metrics to investigate how employee mood at work related to their performance.
​
They found that CSRs varied from day to day in their start-of-day mood, but that those who started out each day happy or calm usually stayed that way throughout the day, and interacting with customers tended to further enhance their mood. On the other hand, employees who started the day in a terrible mood didn’t really climb out of it, and felt even worse by the end of the day — even after interacting with positive customers. The researchers also discovered something they called, “the misery loves company” syndrome. Some CSRs who felt badly at the beginning of the day felt less badly after interacting with customers who were in bad moods. The researchers interpret that finding to mean that when confronted with a customer’s perspective, CSRs felt their own lives weren’t so bad after all.

10 Steps to Sidestep Start-of-Workday Blues​:

Maybe you are increasingly aware of an issue or behaviour pattern you are willing to change which is activating your curiosity. You are reading this article which shows that on some level there is a curiosity. You might be interested in the topic, or maybe have a colleague or friend who is working on personal development with a coach already recommended you check it out. Remember: It is in fact a strength to reach out, not a weakness.
 
Coaching Scenarios:

• You know ‘something has to change.
• The issue for coaching is fairly straight forward. You already know what you want but are not sure how to start, or are interested in having a neutral non-judgmental outsider for support, encouragement, accountability. Many of my clients come to me to gain clarity.

 
Some thoughts to consider: 

You are:

• Aware that talking about it with your friends, family or colleagues is not changing anything.
• Ready to stop talking about the issue with friends, family or colleagues about the same topic – equally they are tired of hearing about it.
• Understand that looking for advice from colleagues and friends is not enough.
• Curious to look inside yourself for some answers.
• Step outside of what you know, into the unknown – outside your comfort zone – outside your box, to find a new way to handle the issue.

 
The next steps: 

• Narrow down what will work best for you: language, in person meetings or online sessions, location, cost, length of sessions, how many sessions does the coach recommend.
• Research the local market on Google, ask friends & colleagues if they know anybody
• Read the testimonials / recommendations to get a feel for the coach and their strengths
• Which websites / coaches appeal to you, 'speak your language'
• Does this align with the issue you are looking to move away from?
• Get in touch with one or more, talk to them, see where the chemistry fits best.
• Make your choice
• Remember: “Actions speak louder than words”.

 
 It is important to know the difference between all the various approaches to change, see my article  Coaching vs. Trainings / Consulting / Mentoring / Traditional Therapies  for more information.
 
Suzie Doscher(PMC), a Professional Master Coach (IAPCM) Coach focusing on Personal Development. 
Check out Suzie's books full of SELF COACHING Exercises - 'Balance by Suzie Doscher' available in any Amazon store worldwide.
Please also visit: www.suziedoscher.com for more info about coaching.

by Suzie Doscher
Photo credit: Shutterstock

Sometimes it’s necessary to provide feedback, but it can be a delicate situation.

You’ve probably heard that people don’t quit jobs; they quit bosses. In today’s hiring market with record numbers of employees resigning, that may or may not always be true. But bad bosses can definitely be a factor for employees who decide to leave.

“I think that a lot of people are saying, ‘Hey, I’ve been putting up with this manager for way too long. All of a sudden, we are in an incredible job market, and I’m going to take my chances and test it out and see if there is a better fit and a better opportunity available,'” says Stephanie Lovell, head of marketing for Hirect, a hiring app for tech startup founders.

If you’re considering leaving your job because of your manager, consider this: What if your boss is a fixer upper? A diamond in the rough? Someone who just needs some input on how to do a better job? Giving your boss feedback may not only be a way to correct your frustration; it can be helpful for your boss, too. It can also be tricky.

But instead of diving into a list of grievances, consider these steps:

Many of history’s famous philosophers, artists, scientists, writers, and creators valued value walking as much as they valued productive work.

Aristotle, Charles Dickens, Henry David Thoreau, Virginia Woolf, Albert Einstein, Friedrich Nietzsche and many others made time for long walks.

They used long walks for contemplation, reflection and problem-solving.

They found walking helped them think better, ponder over ideas and get more done once they got back to writing, creating, designing or composing.

“The moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow,” Henry David Thoreau, a philosopher, poet, and environmental scientist, once said.

Aristotle used to conduct some of his lectures while walking on the school grounds. William Wordsworth once said walking was “indivisible” from the creative act of writing poetry.
Charles Dickens used to walk for 20 miles after writing in the morning.

​

Hiring a candidate can feel like reaching the finish line of a journey. After weeks or months of recruiting efforts, you finally found the right fit. But it’s not – it’s actually the beginning of a crucial stage of your hiring process: onboarding.

“It is an incredibly vital stage of the hiring process because employees are acclimated to their position, the company’s philosophies, and what the organization has to offer during onboarding,” says Jamie Olson, Head of People & Culture at Continu, a learning amplification platform for teams.

“It also increases motivation, resulting in employees who are dedicated to the company’s success, and promotes the retention of new recruits by making them feel like a part of the team.”

Your onboarding process is the first impression. It can make or break the long-term chances of success of your new team member – it’s when expectations are set and important information is passed along. Olson broke down everything you need to know about how to effectively welcome a new employee to the team. Learn more in the checklist and onboarding tips below.

The ultimate onboarding checklistFirst of all, it’s important not to “wing it.” Onboarding doesn’t consist of greeting your new report and making a few introductions before leaving them on their own. You’ll need to create a streamlined process that is consistent every time you hire someone new. Here is a checklist.
​

Any Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back? ​

As Henry Ford so wisely stated: "If you think you can, or cannot - either way you are right".
In other words if you think and therefore believe something to be true, then it is your truth.

• If you believe you cannot do something... you cannot and most probably will not even try, or try to find a way, to do it.
• If you believe you can figure something out ... you will find a way.
  
  

Your beliefs can be negative or positive, therefore limit or empower you.

If you are not quite 'the person you want to be', then it pays off to find out if it is a thought (belief) holding you back.

The thought could be anything from 'I do not know how', 'I do not have any support', 'I do not know where to start', 'I am uncertain about this,' etc.

This time of year is tough for anxious sleepers. So much to do, so much on the mind. And with the bane of Covid-19, environmental issues, political tension, and travel chaos swirling about, it's a wonder any of us can get any sleep.
If you're anything like me, all you want to do is shut off your brain long enough to doze off and get a restful seven to eight hours so you can tackle the next day. But how?
There are actually a few methods, some rather surprising, that help. I've used a combination of these over the years to great success, and urge you to do the same.
I'd try two or three of the following that fit you the best. Within 10 to 15 minutes, you should be fading into sleep.
​

1. Engage in "box breathing." I've referenced breathing exercises before -- and they work well to calm the nervous system. My favorite is a simple three-three-three-three "box" method. Breathe in three seconds, hold three seconds, breathe out three seconds, hold three seconds, repeat three or four times. While this is designed to calm your nervous system, you'll notice your mind following suit.
   
   
2. Write down your top three anxieties before bed. Keep a pen and paper handy at your bedside. Right after crawling into bed, write down your top three worries(one sentence each) in a list on the pad. This may seem like an empty action as you're not attempting to address your worries directly, but the mere act of writing them out is cathartic -- kind of like you're leaving them on the pad to pick up the next day (or just drop entirely).

The morning shapes your day in mysterious ways.
It shouldn’t as there are 24 hours in a day — but it does. Weird. I’m not one of those 4 A.M. cold shower peeps anymore.

I prefer a realistic start to the day. It’s even more important for me because I have no job or boss to report to. So if I stuff up the morning, over time, I can stuff up my life and end up warming an office chair in a skyscraper of broken dreams, dying to escape (again).

Do these things before 8 A.M. to crush your day.