Feel Like You are Trapped ?

Maybe you are trapped in a golden cage?
Maybe you feel you have been forced into this cage or have chosen it.

For whatever reason you are feeling trapped or as if your wings have been clipped, it is not a nice feeling.

It is up to you to figure out what needs to change to set yourself free.
This is a lot easier said than done.

I remember reading The Road Less Travelled. At the time I bought it the concept of self-help was new to me.
I was in a state and knew that something had to change. I had no idea what, and even less of a clue where to begin. So, I bought a book!
I remember I got as far as ‘life is difficult and the sooner you accept it, the easier it gets’. (Or at least that is how I remember it)
Naturally this was not the ‘quick fix’ I was hoping for. However, those words made such an impact on me that they were in fact a ‘quick fix’.

My next step was to accept that life is not easy and therefore change my expectations. Life can be difficult

and not necessarily the ideal fantasy version we see in films. Films are wonderful escapes and entertainment. A great time to switch off but not reality.

Back to feeling trapped or as if your wings have been clipped.
Fast forward ca 25 years. My passion has been and remains to help others set themselves free as I managed to do.

This involved many steps for me on this track of personal growth and personal development:

• Raise my self-awareness – get to know me.
• Leave the past in the past by healing whatever needed healing.
• Explore what was not working, what was making me unhappy.
• Explore what was working – what was I already doing right.
• Figuring out what was possible and realistic.
• Designing actions to be tried out.
• Being okay with falling on my face when something did not go as hoped.
• Tweak the action step so I could try something different.
• Practice and repeat until the change was made.
• Being kind and patient with myself knowing I was ‘work in progress’.
  
  

It is very individual what is makes a person feel trapped. The solution is not ‘one size fits all’. So do not feel the advice you get from a friend or book will also work for you. It might, but it might not.

Personal Growth Steps to take to get out of the feeling of being in a cage:

1. Self-awareness: I suggest at least 2 weeks of self-observation.
   Really get to know your own behaviour patterns.
   
   What makes you uncomfortable, frustrated, angry or even sad?
   What exactly do you say/do when your emotions are present (triggered)?
   
   Many people react to something in the moment. This is usually an emotional reaction not an intellectual one. Neuroscience has proven that the brain does not operate clearly when emotions are present.
   
   Take the information you gathered and explore the best possible and most realistic step to take. Practice and repeat the action step chosen.
   Remember change is not easy and takes time so be kind to yourself along the way.
   For example: if you have chosen to say/do nothing until you have slept on it/had time to process it, then practice not saying, or doing, anything. This might be harder than you think it is. If you need to say/do something I suggest you say:  “I will get back to you,” and do not forget to breathe.
   

Life is always going to throw obstacles at you. Learn how to handle them.
By doing so you will become a better version of yourself. It might be slowly ... but surely.

by Suzie Doscher,  Professional Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development since 2006
Self-help Author since 2014.
Photocredit: Shutterstock

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