The stress response begins in the brain. However, this stimulates a whole bodily response, and an international collaboration has now uncovered the mechanisms of how chronic stress impacts the brain to change neuronal responses that can lead to symptoms such as social withdrawal - which in turn can be a major contributor to developing mental illness. Flurin Cathomas of the University of Zurich, here in Switzerland, and research colleagues showed that an enzyme released during stress impacts brain function. "We were able to show that stress increases the amount of the matrix metalloproteinase-8 (MMP-8), an enzyme in the blood of mice. The same changes were found in patients with depression," This research, in mice notabene, leads to behavioral changes: they withdraw and avoid social contact such as is common in depression. 1. The Present It is best to start by examining your present-day reality. Determine 'what is working' and 'what is not working'. Once you have the answers explore what you can influence and what not. Eckhart Tolle refers to living in the Now, which means being able to see and feel what your life is in the present moment. The present-day buzzword for this is to be mindful by practicing mindfulness. Standing in a beautiful park, by a calming body of water, or attending your child’s school play or other family event, and actually seeing the trees, feeling the flow and energy of the water, enjoying the play or event while feeling joy instead of being lost in your thoughts (which are taking you elsewhere) is experiencing the now, the present moment, being mindful of that very moment. Thoughts can propel you into an entirely different location even if you are not there physically. It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. When you are able to live in the day life becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You empower yourself by influencing what you can influence. This becomes a powerful technique to step out of stress. This is not to say you should never think of the future and plan to reach your goals and avoid pitfalls. It is more about how this is done. Keep your energy where it is needed - in the day. Deal with issues and problems as they arise. By doing this you keep yourself strong to deal with the present-day reality. Your self-confidence and self-esteem will thank you. 2. The Future Rapport is one of the elements that helps create a harmonious environment for good communication. For a conversation to be satisfying the parties involved need to feel comfortable, relaxed and safe. This environment makes difficult subjects easier to approach. A harmonious atmosphere offers the sense of cooperation not competition.
When communication flows easily you feel a sense of natural rapport. It is best to never assume anything about the other person. Rely on what you are told, and the sense you get from them. Ask questions if you need further information. It is best not to jump to conclusions and thereby make assumptions. During a telephone conversation when there is no eye contact, your voice must take over the role of our body language and facial expressions to establish rapport. During an online meeting how, you present yourself is very important. What makes rapport necessary? Having rapport is necessary to achieve the desired results from any conversation. For effective parenting, or in the context of business meetings, the outcome of a conversation could be limited without a harmonious feeling. For example, it could be more difficult to have a child cooperate and clean up his room if the request always comes with an angry voice, rather than that was encouraging and respectful. The same would apply in a business meeting. It might be easier reach an agreement or to close a deal if the atmosphere within the meeting is agreeable. The results can be much more effective when the rapport is natural. If rapport is missing, the quality of communication will suffer. Do you end up doing everything yourself? How would it be if you could ask for, trust, or accept the help of others? It can be so difficult to even consider asking for someone’s help when you are used to coping with everything on your own. There might indeed be times when you do not even accept help offered. Today, society contains some very bizarre patterns. You are born into a community called the family, you grow up within communities, for example school, friends, relationships, teams in the work place, and clubs you seek to join, etc. As social creatures life is set up around communities. Yet we no longer find it easy to ask for help. Whatever the reasons for this are, we can all benefit from a little support sometimes. Consider this short story (author unknown): A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, “Are you using all your strength?” “Yes, I am”, the little boy said impatiently. “No, you are not”, the father answered. “I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.” If you need to get a chore, job or task done, schedule organized, a school-run worked out, or any other task How are you doing?
I do not mean physically. I am referring to how you are doing emotionally. There are all sorts of people, all sorts of approaches to handle life, all sorts of approaches and mindsets, all sorts of biases, fears, beliefs and all sorts of processing ways and speeds. I spent a weekend in the Swiss Alps where across one of the gorgeous small alpine lakes a slack line event was happening. It was amazing to watch all levels of slack line walkers move across the lake. At first I thought “I guess falling into the water is not too bad” followed by “but then they have to swim back to shore and start again”. I noticed they were wearing a safety harness. Losing balance meant still being attached to the line, so they would not fall into the water. To start again they beautifully maneuvered with grace and elegance back up on the line. Anyhow, this all made me realize that ‘getting back up’ is a most vital skill to have for life with all of its ups and downs. After all the reality of life is a series of ups and downs. In a step-by-step approach I examined my own approach to ‘getting back up’. The end of the year is nigh! And with it comes a lot of busy work—some fun, some not so fun. Whether it’s personal or professional, the end of the year is about finishing up, taking stock, and making plans. And that’s all before we get into the crush of the holidays. Our To-Do lists can be very long this time of year.
What we often leave off our list is taking time for ourselves. Yet, the crazier life becomes, the more we need to give ourselves space to just be. We need to spend time on our self-care. You have probably heard the term self-care tossed around, but what is it exactly? It is any activity that we deliberately do to take care of ourselves—mentally, emotionally, and physically. Self-care is time or an activity that builds us up rather than takes away our energy. It is a way to recenter body and mind when we feel scattered and overwhelmed. When we take the time to be present in ourselves, when we take time for self-care, we can reconnect to the world in a Higher Self way. Someone makes a choice you simply do not understand. The consequences may or may not touch your life, involve you, affect you. One way or another you cannot see what they are basing their decision on. This is the part that makes accepting their choice so difficult. I am going to break this down into two parts. Part One: Understanding Take the view that:
Part Two: Acceptance A few years back I worked with a client, let’s call him Eric, the COO of a medium sized established company. I was inspired to write this article as it often tends to be our thinking / mindset / perspective that can trip us up, as was the case with him. Everybody has set ways of thinking about things. This is true for your private life as well as in your working environment. Where your perspective comes from and what it is based on comes usually from past experiences. By past, I mean it can come from way back, or even recent bad experiences with the last boss or partner or life in general. What matters now, in the present moment, is the awareness that these experiences exist, might be driving your behaviour and give you your perspective on things. This can form beliefs, biases, judgements and any, negative thoughts. If you are ready to start changing the results you are getting then these tips can help you challenge your thoughts. After all Einstein says: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”
Most of us will know that feeling - our attention can drop off during the day and our efficient mornings can then blend into less efficient afternoons. And Friday afternoon? Well, you can write that off!
This feeling, or assumption, is now backed up by some science, and pretty solid science at that in a novel piece of research. The research was conducted by a team around Drs. Taehyun Roh and Nishat Tasnim Hasan of the Texas A&M University. Much previous work has used self report studies or wearable technology for short periods of time - these can be invasive and in the case of self reporting very subjective. In this study the researchers tracked a large group of workers (789) at an energy company in Texas over two full years making this an impressive real world dataset. What they found is that computer use and output increased to Wednesday and then dropped off until Friday. What’s more, usage dropped off in the afternoon and also typos increased - a sign of fatigue and wavering attention. This was particularly bad on Friday afternoons - probably no surprise there - fatigue setting in not to mention the psychological impact of the looming weekend. The authors argue that this also supports shorter working weeks and other forms of work such as hybrid work or working from home as this can counter fatigue and increase productivity. After looking at the data it seem like it would make sense to just cancel Friday! Alas but then Thursday may become the new Friday. But seriously, evidence is strong for the effectiveness of the 4-day work week. One solid study published early in the year for Cambridge University showed increased wellbeing while preserving productivity. Sounds good to me! by ANDY HAYMAKER Photo credit: Pexels Reference: Taehyun Roh, Chukwuemeka Esomonu, Joseph Hendricks, Anisha Aggarwal, Nishat Tasnim Hasan, Mark Benden. Examining workweek variations in computer usage patterns: An application of ergonomic monitoring software. PLOS ONE, 2023; 18 (7): e0287976 DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0287976 More research showing that a little can do a lot In the quest for fitness and health there has been a focus on exercise as a key factor - we all know that. And recommendations are normally about increasing heart rates over long periods of time or possible also shorter more intensive sessions. These have also been shown to improve cognitive function - making your brain more effective.
However, the route to greater health may be easier - or more specifically of enhanced brain function. The effects of light activity in the focus on more intensive and extensive exercise has been largely underestimated - and is considered by some to be a key factor in public health. Our engagement in light activity has over the decades decreased significantly - see my previous article here. Become a free or paid subscriber. In this research just out Ryuta Kuwamizu and colleagues of the University of Tsukuba in Japan conducted a simple but effective experiment. In this participants did 10 mins of easy exercise - in this case light pedalling while seated. During this they measured pupil dilation because this is also related to brain function specifically executive function. Executive function refers to harder cognitive tasks such as decision making, short-term, memory, calculation, and analysis - basically what many consider the heavy lifting of the brain in our daily lives. Yes, and indeed just this short light exercise intervention increased delation of the pupil and this was directly related to improved executive functions which was determined though scanning the frontal part of the brain where our executive functions reside with a technique called near infrared spectroscopy. This therefore points to, as I have mentioned in other places, the significant benefits of short bouts of light exercise on improved brain function - something of particular interest to businesses no doubt. I have long since promoted the idea of regular short walking breaks - this shows again why. For a review of the benefits of walking see this article here). Not that it has to be at work - a walk or light exercise will improve your brain function - and that is good for all of us, all the time. by ANDY HAYMAKER Photo credit: Pexels Reference: Ryuta Kuwamizu, Yudai Yamazaki, Naoki Aoike, Taichi Hiraga, Toshiaki Hata, Michael A. Yassa, Hideaki Soya. Pupil dynamics during very light exercise predict benefits to prefrontal cognition NeuroImage, Volume 277, 2023. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroimage.2023.120244 When a company focuses solely on reaching targets and continually pushes employees to reach these goals, the side effects often result in a high turnover and burnout rate.
Ironically, this can cause the company NOT to achieve its targets in the desired timeframe. Pushing too hard in one direction results in an inevitable push back from the opposite direction. This is a law of nature that applies to the business world as well. Stressed employees trying to reach sometimes unrealistic or unnecessary targets tend to operate at half of their capacity. They start to make mistakes and lose track of the details amid their overwhelming work schedules. They tend to suffer physically exhaustion as well. All of this hurts productivity, the very thing the company is trying to increase. A lack of self-confidence can negatively affect one or all areas of you life. Life Coach Rebekah Fensome provides 8 surefire ways to boost your self-esteem.
I am so proud of my client Sophie. She came to me six months ago with self-confidence issues. She felt intimated by certain people at work as she believed they were better than her and when she was placed in social situation where she had to talk to new people she felt they did not really want to be stuck talking to her. I truly believe that no one want to talk to me, she told me. I am boring and do not know what to say most of the time. My mind goes blank when I meet new people and I get really embarrassed trying to make small talk at work. As for dating – I have not done that for 2 years! After a couple of sessions with Sophie, it became clear that she had lost sight of who she was, what her values were and what made her unique and special. She had also got into the unhelpful habit of putting herself down in front of people and been in her current job for two years without a promotion. She also strongly believed that men did not find her attractive and regarded her as a friend and nothing else. Eight tips to better self-esteem Here are some of the discoveries we made and techniques we developed together: In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behaviour indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.”
This personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood, alcoholic parents, abusive behaviour, or early abandonment. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers. I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behaviour of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job. One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that they do not understand how their behaviour and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behaviour comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of being a control freak. Even the most enlightened of us can’t always stop ourselves from worrying about the future and asking ourselves “what if?” Underneath our connection to our Higher Self that we work so hard for, lurks the fear of future problems just waiting for an opening to ask us “what if?”
You know how it is…trouble is brewing at your job, layoffs could be coming. What if you lost your job? There have been a rash of pedestrian traffic accidents lately. What if your child is hit by a car? Your mother’s routine check-up turns into several follow-up appointments. What if she is sick? And on and on. Before we know it, our Chatterboxes have taken over. We are filled with fears about the future and the “what if” questions drag us down to our Lower Self. Many of us “what if” ourselves into a perpetual state of worry. “What if” questions come from our Lower Self, our inner chatterbox that wants us to live in perpetual fear. Susan wrote in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, “When the ‘what ifs’ are out in full force, the internal Chatterbox is at it again. You look at the unknown and try to predict the future; you try to take control of outside forces. Both are impossible. At this point you might notice you are driving yourself crazy.” Thoughts about change usually only occur when life no longer offers you the feeling of being satisfied. They can also emerge when things are basically alright but there is room for improvement. The difficulty frequently lies in finding out specifically what you can improve, what you should move on from, what you should let go of.
Change is not easy or simple. It can only really take place if you are ready to take action. Research shows 90% of the strategies designed for change assume people are ready to take action. In reality only 20% of the people already involved in some process of change are actually ready to take action. This helps explain why so many attempts to keep New Year’s resolutions, lose weight, change behaviour patterns, etc. are doomed to fail. If you have been told you should change, but are not really convinced this is true, you are more likely to fail at completing the process. It is most helpful and supportive and will increase your chances of successfully completing change if you Constant Interruptions, Disturbances, Noise - How They Can Rob You of Your Focus (and Motivation)23/4/2023
They are building all around me. This week even with a jackhammer below me. It is unbearably noisy. This noise totally robs me of my focus and consequently motivation.
So, I am now sitting in a quiet restaurant right by the lake writing this. :) Hotel lobbies seem to be my place for creative thoughts. Nothing against the builders or the need to repair / renovate something in the building. That is life and we need to do maintenance on buildings, as much as we need maintenance in the form of self-care. My struggle this morning is the level of noise. It makes me realize how much noise makes focussing difficult for me. I intended to attempt my morning brain training before I started work but found the sound of the drills and jackhammer below me disrupting. In fact so disrupting that I left the house and retreated to this lakeside location. No matter how much I encouraged myself I could handle it - the truth is I could not. “We generate fears while we sit. |
Raise your self-awareness with this:
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