​8 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

A lack of self-confidence can negatively affect one or all areas of you life. Life Coach Rebekah Fensome provides 8 surefire ways to boost your self-esteem.

I am so proud of my client Sophie.

She came to me six months ago with self-confidence issues. She felt intimated by certain people at work as she believed they were better than her and when she was placed in social situation where she had to talk to new people she felt they did not really want to be stuck talking to her.

I truly believe that no one want to talk to me, she told me. I am boring and do not know what to say most of the time. My mind goes blank when I meet new people and I get really embarrassed trying to make small talk at work. As for dating – I have not done that for 2 years!


After a couple of sessions with Sophie, it became clear that she had lost sight of who she was, what her values were and what made her unique and special. She had also got into the unhelpful habit of putting herself down in front of people and been in her current job for two years without a promotion. She also strongly believed that men did not find her attractive and regarded her as a friend and nothing else.
 
Eight tips to better self-esteem
 
Here are some of the discoveries we made and techniques we developed together:

1. Self-Appreciation
   Write a list of your top seven qualities.
   These are what make you unique. Carry these around with you every day and read them to remind yourself who you are what makes you special.
   
   
2. Write a list of past successes
   Think about times in your life when you’ve been successful at something. Write a list of all of these and remind yourself how you did this and how great it felt when you achieved your goals. This this past experience to fuel your-believe and confidence for achieving future goals.
   
   
3. Do not put yourself down
   Sophie kept a tally of how many times she negatively about herself This ensured that she became acutely aware of how many times a day she was telling people or herself that she wasn’t any good. This was a real eye-opener for her, which successfully led to decrease the frequency of this external negative dialogues.
   
   
4. Choose positive role models
   We can help ourselves by looking at others in a constructive and positive way rather than negatively comparing ourselves to them. Look at others with a glowing self-confidence and notice their characteristics. Pick up words and body language that they use and add them to your own repertoire.
   
   
5. Accept compliments
   Being able to accept, believe and feel good  about compliments is crucial to cultivating a high level of self-confidence. The beat way to accept compliments is to look the person in the face, smile and say ‘thank you’. This will in turn also make them fool good. Looking embarrassed or looking down at your feet and feeling uncomfortable will also mee the person giving the compliment uncomfortable – no one wins in that situation!
   
   
6. Positive affirmations
   Using positive  every day is really effective as you are talking to your subconscious where all your negative thoughts are stored. Pick three strong statements, which will literally make a negative self-belief into a positive one. For example, if you believe you are not a confident person then “I am a confident person’ should be one of your daily positive affirmations.
   Say your positive affirmations out loud while looking in the mirror as this makes them strong because you are connecting with yourself.
   
   
7. Constructive self-talk
   We all have an irrational and rational voice. Use constructive questioning on yourself to ensure the irrational voice gets less airtime than the rational  voice. Keep practicing this, as it will give you and overwhelming sense of control over your negative inner voice, which is in valuable in many situations if life.
   
   
8. Take care of yourself
   Take time out to nurture yourself. Eat well and drink less alcohol. Got to sleep early and exercise. This indicates to yourself that you are worthy of being cared for. Remember you deserve to take care of yourself and taking care of!

 
And how has Sophie progressed? She emailed me recently to say: ‘ Since our sessions I feel more confident and self-assured. The techniques I have developed, and discoveries made about myself are invaluable and I will not let anything get in the way of what I want from my life going forward.’

Use the eight tips and your self-esteem will skyrocket too!
 
By Rebekah Fensome, Reposted with permission 
Photo credit: Pexels
 
 
Suzie Doscher:
As a professional coach now for 17 years I agree with these wonderful tips.
The article was published in 2007, the information and tips remain the same 17 years later. Personal development, curiosity, self-awareness, self-care plus the motivation to keep moving forward in your private life as well as working life are vital to a satisfying and successful life. I can confirm this as a 68 year old as well as a professional coach.
Get in touch to discuss how my coaching can support you in becoming the best version of yourself.

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