Executive Coach Focusing on Personal Development, Zurich, Switzerland
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Interested in Personal Growth and Personal Development? A book Full of Insights

3/12/2023

 
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A insightful self-help book for Christmas 2023.

Photocredit: Suzie Doscher


Obsessing over Negative Thoughts - What To Do?

22/11/2023

 
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Listen to the Audio version narrated by Suzie Doscher - 4.30 mins
You choose what you will wear and eat, what films you see, who you socialize with. You make choices all day long in your professional and personal life. In the same way, you also have the choice of which thoughts to focus on. The nice, happy thoughts, of course, are not a problem for they give energy, put a smile on your face, and are inspiring as well as motivating. 

Everybody has negative thoughts. They are the ones that are easy to obsess over and rob you of energy, leaving you feeling drained. Believe it or not, how long you allow negative thoughts to influence your mood, day, or even life is up to you. Every thought you have either weakens you or strengthens you. 

It is important to realize that thoughts are not reality. Assumptions are good examples of this. Just because you assume something does not make it true. 

When you are struggling to stop obsessing about something, remind yourself that you have a choice to move on to a thought that might make you feel better in that moment. It is best to acknowledge negative thoughts when they come up and then choose not to stay with them by distracting yourself. 

No one can eliminate all bad thoughts, but you can make the conscious decision to be in charge of your thinking. Filter through what is real and what needs your focus. Your mind is yours to control. You cannot control the first thought, but you can control the second. Choose to consciously override thoughts that weaken you. This will allow you to feel you have some personal power. 

Some suggestions to explore: 

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How to Accept Someone’s Choice Even Though You Do Not Understand It

14/11/2023

 
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Someone makes a choice you simply do not understand. The consequences may or may not touch your life, involve you, affect you. One way or another you cannot see what they are basing their decision on. This is the part that makes accepting their choice so difficult. I am going to break this down into two parts.
 
Part One: Understanding
Take the view that:
 
  • Everybody has the right to see life through his or her own eyes, the right to their own reality.
  • Their reality will be based on experiences they have had so far in their life.
  • These experiences will have formed their beliefs, values, goals, point of view, etc.
  • Accepting and thereby respecting their choice means you are not judging them.
  • Ask yourself: “What gives you the right to judge someone?” or “What gives you the right to believe you know what is right for him or her?” If you think about this, it is quite presumptuous.
  • Hopefully at this point you can interrupt your desire to explain their choice to yourself.
 
Part Two: Acceptance
 

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Challenge Your Thinking to Achieve Better Results

24/10/2023

 
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A few years back I worked with a client, let’s call him Eric, the COO of a medium sized established company. I was inspired to write this article as it often tends to be our thinking / mindset / perspective that can trip us up, as was the case with him.

Everybody has set ways of thinking about things. This is true for your private life as well as in your working environment. Where your perspective comes from and what it is based on comes usually from past experiences. By past, I mean it can come from way back, or even recent bad experiences with the last boss or partner or life in general.

What matters now, in the present moment, is the awareness that these experiences exist, might be driving your behaviour and give you your perspective on things.

This can form beliefs, biases, judgements and any, negative thoughts. If you are ready to start changing the results you are getting then these tips can help you challenge your thoughts.

After all Einstein says: 
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”

  • Think of the specific situation that is difficult.

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Find Balance – Would Love to, But Who Has The Time

13/10/2023

 
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If listening is easier check out the audio version narrated by the author (Suzie Doscher).
 In my own life one of the important realizations was that balance is possible and it was mine if I wanted it. What followed was a fair amount of self-reflection, openness, and honesty with myself. Setting aside time to explore my definition of balance, by questioning what was missing and what I was already doing successfully, was time well spent. Since then, I have a good grasp on the various elements of day-to-day life. For me personally knowing my heart and mind are working together is what keeps me balanced. The sense of calm, of being grounded and clearheaded, motivates me to keep my life in balance.

Choosing to create balance will reflect in these six areas of your life:
  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Social
  • Financial
  • Spiritual

Each one is important and will require consideration, attention, maintenance, or upgrading throughout your life. Not necessarily at the same time, or in equal amounts; nevertheless, all deserve attention. It would be impossible and unrealistic to believe that each can have a “full service” all of the time. So, choose the area that is being neglected the most at that time and focus on sorting it out. If you choose to socialize more but are not getting enough sleep, you might have chosen the wrong area to nurture. Choose your priorities carefully. All elements are interrelated; balance will be present when all six are respected.

Most of us spend a large part of the day working. Making sure the remaining hours offer some form of nurturing and reenergizing is vital. There is a difference for single people versus married, with or without children, whether you travel, live internationally and interculturally. Choose the area most in need of attention and nurturing.

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Helpful Suggestions When Communicating With Control Freaks

22/8/2023

 
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In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behaviour indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.”

This personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood, alcoholic parents, abusive behaviour, or early abandonment. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.

I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behaviour of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.

One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that they do not understand how their behaviour and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behaviour comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of being a control freak.

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Self-help Audiobook: BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments by Suzie Doscher

19/7/2023

 
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Listen to the INTRODUCTION to the self-help book:
BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments by Suzie Doscher

Start listening now - Buy your copy on Audible or iTunes.

Asking “What If?” and Answering “I’ll Handle It”

8/6/2023

 
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Even the most enlightened of us can’t always stop ourselves from worrying about the future and asking ourselves “what if?” Underneath our connection to our Higher Self that we work so hard for, lurks the fear of future problems just waiting for an opening to ask us “what if?”

You know how it is…trouble is brewing at your job, layoffs could be coming. What if you lost your job? There have been a rash of pedestrian traffic accidents lately. What if your child is hit by a car? Your mother’s routine check-up turns into several follow-up appointments. What if she is sick? And on and on.
​
Before we know it, our Chatterboxes have taken over. We are filled with fears about the future and the “what if” questions drag us down to our Lower Self. Many of us “what if” ourselves into a perpetual state of worry.
“What if” questions come from our Lower Self, our inner chatterbox that wants us to live in perpetual fear. Susan wrote in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, “When the ‘what ifs’ are out in full force, the internal Chatterbox is at it again. You look at the unknown and try to predict the future; you try to take control of outside forces. Both are impossible. At this point you might notice you are driving yourself crazy.”

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What Does it Mean to Change?

20/5/2023

 
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Thoughts about change usually only occur when life no longer offers you the feeling of being satisfied. They can also emerge when things are basically alright but there is room for improvement. The difficulty frequently lies in finding out specifically what you can improve, what you should move on from, what you should let go of.

Change is not easy or simple. It can only really take place if you are ready to take action. Research shows 90% of the strategies designed for change assume people are ready to take action. In reality only 20% of the people already involved in some process of change are actually ready to take action. This helps explain why so many attempts to keep New Year’s resolutions, lose weight, change behaviour patterns, etc. are doomed to fail. If you have been told you should change, but are not really convinced this is true, you are more likely to fail at completing the process.

It is most helpful and supportive and will increase your chances of successfully completing change if you 

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Expand Your Horizons by Doing It Anyway

17/4/2023

 
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“We generate fears while we sit.
​We overcome them by action.”
 
​Dr. Henry Link

There is nothing like being comfy and cozy in our comfort zones. Right? The problem with that is, of course, that we can’t change or grow if we hold on to our comfort zones. As Susan wrote in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, “Most of us operate within a zone that feels right, and outside of it we are uncomfortable. For each one of us that zone of comfort is different, but whether we are aware of it or not, all of us—rich or poor, famous or unknown, gay or straight, male or female or whatever our gender identity— make decisions based on the confines of that comfortable space.”

While we may feel secure in our comfort zone, we likely are living with the pain of neediness and the fear of change. While comfort zones can make us feel secure, they also keep us from feeling powerful. If we want to grow, to experience, to learn, we have to start moving out of complacency in that comfortable space. We have to start expanding our boundaries. To do so, we have to take action, we have to put in the work—even if it means being uncomfortable. That is the only way we can know our own power.

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How to be a Good Friend to Yourself

5/4/2023

 
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I believe self-care means self-respect and the ability to set boundaries.
The first and most important step is to realize and truly acknowledge that unless you take care of yourself nobody else can or will. When I say, “truly acknowledge”, I mean that you have accepted the following:
  • There is always another choice; to do, or not to do / to say, or not to say!
  • You are comfortable – saying “no” when necessary, knowing a “yes” does not serve you / is going to take something from you; time, energy, emotional stability.
  • You recognize when you have allowed yourself to slip into “victim mode”, have stayed there too long, and are ready to take your power back.
  • You know how to make, create, or find the time for yourself, and on the occasions when there simply is no time … you know to do a couple of minutes of deep breathing!
 
These are a few examples, expressed in simple terms: You have taken charge of your life, know your Values and maintain your Personal Power. You can live your life … it does not have to be living you!

As an independent adult you have become the “director” of your life. If you are feeling stressed, one of the simplest yet most effective ways to reduce the tension is to spend some time doing something that involves your senses. Look out of the window, take a walk, listen to music, sing, do something creative, draw, bake, cook, garden, pot a plant, take a bath and light some candles, buy some flowers, look at nature, or revisit a long forgotten hobby – to name just a few options. Taking a few breaths does not take a long time, but does 'break the energy of the stressful / challenging moment. Once the energy is broken you can think more clearly to deal with the issue. 

Whenever possible take a break from technology, even if only for one hour. If that is not possible, try 10 minutes during which you turn off your computer, your phone, TV, etc. If you cannot go outside, then look out of the window at the sky. Regardless of the weather, the sky can be inspiring and energizing.
 
Here are some helpful suggestions to ask yourself:
  1. Think about what exactly it is you are doing when you feel happy, fulfilled, at peace, nurtured.
  2. If you cannot come up with an answer … think back to a day or event that you enjoyed, that made you feel good.
  3. Use your imagination and senses to remember what that felt like.
  4. What can you draw from that feeling now? Might you be able to do it again? For example, were you outside, talking with a friend, eating something wonderful, sitting still, appreciating a view…? If it were not possible to do any of those things right now, what is possible right now that would be good for you?
  5. Can you take a walk, soak in the bath, listen to some music, talk to a friend, observe nature, do something creative or anything you do not normally do or have time for?
  6. Even 5 minutes will make a difference. You do not need to have all day to be kind to yourself.
  7. Do one thing a day … however small.

by Suzie Doscher, Professional Executive Coach focusing on Self-Development, Self-help Author since 2014.
3 Editions (2014, 2018, 2022) of BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments.

​Photo credit: Pexels

​Contact Suzie for a chat on how she can help support you.

​Unwinding After Work - Leave Work at Work

22/3/2023

 
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How about going out for a sail, swim, drink, run, or meet friends, play with your children,
talk to your partner – without your head still being full of work-related information?
It can be difficult to leave work related thoughts behind at the end of the day. Too many people arrive
home and are not really present. Their body might have walked through the door but mentally they are miles away. This seems to be the reality in today's world. Remember: There is more to life than just work.
You do need some kind of balance between down-time and work to be the most effective. 
Clarity will come easier if you give your brain a rest. It is amazing what thoughts, ideas, solutions and insights can come to you by creating some space for them.
 
This is a common topic with my coaching clients. I might work with five different clients all on this particular topic, yet each one will find his or her own unique way to help themselves unwind and reenter their personal life.
 
First of all, it helps to remember and accept as an important truth that your work is only part of your life. It is wonderful if you love what you do and have passion for your work, but do not forget that your personal life is at least as important as your work.
 
The goal is not to neglect your work but also not neglect your family, friends, and self.
Establish and maintain a routine of self-care – start by unwinding from work on your way home.
Some examples that help my clients include: listening to music or an audiobook in the car or on the train, taking a walk and being more mindful while doing so, meeting a friend, or exercise.
Start instilling this habit and you will experience life as more satisfying, rewarding, happy, and healthier in mind and body.


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Challenges in Life Either Do or Do Not Have Solutions

29/1/2023

 
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“Challenges in life either do or do not have solutions.
If there is a solution somewhere,
then there is no need to be overwhelmed by the challenge.
If there genuinely is no solution,
then there is no point being overwhelmed by it”.
​
Unknown

If you genuinely believe there is a solution to every problem there is a greater likelihood that you will find the solution. Personally, I believe the approach “where there is a will, there is a way.” I do not always find the way as soon as I had hoped for – which can sometimes be due to a lack of motivation. I then remind myself that I know nothing stays the same and therefore have nothing to fear.
Things will change even if I do nothing.
Obviously, I might not get the outcome I had hoped for but then again if I chose not to get myself motivated then that was my choice!
When I find myself lacking motivation I either find someone to talk to or brainstorm with me, or I take any time pressure off myself and see what comes up on its own.


Sometimes it is not the right time to deal with an issue, solve a work related problem, make a change or whatever the challenge is you might be facing. This does not mean you have given up on finding the solution. To me this means I am not in the right frame of mind, nor am I in a strong emotional place or have enough time, to focus on resolving whatever requires attention.

Really believing that you can find a solution to a problem gives you an advantage. This advantage is strength and personal power. You are more likely to overcome nearly all, if not all, the problems you are faced with. Sometimes the best solution is to walk away from something.

If an issue overwhelms me I break it down into smaller issues I can cope with.
I remember having to read through a rather large contract one day. The only way I could cope with it was to give myself permission to only have to read five pages in the morning and five pages in the afternoon. So, my solution was to break the reading down into smaller steps.


If you are fully convinced that a solution exists for every problem, then problems no longer feel like problems, instead they become tasks to deal with. I suggest they be regarded as projects that now need project management.
Your thinking makes a world of difference to what you achieve.


(an excerpt from the 1st edition of Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments.

​by Suzie Doscher, Professional Executive Coach since 2006, Self-help Author since 2014. 
​Photocredit: Pixaby/Pexels

Contact Suzie
​to schedule a chat to discuss your coaching needs.

​Recognizing You Could be on Your Way to a Potential Burnout

1/12/2022

 
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If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself; remember that it will only get worse if you leave it alone. But if you take steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown.

Some tips:
  • Start the day with a relaxing ritual.
    Rather than jumping out of bed as soon as you wake up, spend a few minutes doing nothing – just lying there, or meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you. Whatever you chose to do that is realistic focus on it. If your children jump into bed with you and wake you up then try to focus on them. Children are grounded and in the moment. 
  • Adopt healthy eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to deal with life's obstacles and demands. Start with one of them and attempt to follow through 2 -3 days per week. It is better to start than not at all or to set a goal that is bound not to be reached. You will feel so much better if you start slow and have a much better chance of following through. One step at a time gets you to the top of the ladder. 

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Self-help Book to Help You "Grow Into Your Skin" and Be Yourself.

30/11/2022

 

A self-help book to further your personal development. BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments by Suzie Doscher


Available in the Amazon Store of your country. In Paperback, on Kindle
​or as an Audiobook narrated by the author. (Audible or iTunes)

Feeling Calm and Grounded

16/11/2022

 
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In order to stay calm and grounded it requires certain behaviors that feed being calm and grounded.

Each person will have their own requirements to feel calm and grounded.
What actions you need to take will most likely differ from someone else’s. 
Just as each person has their own interpretation of success, the same goes for feeling calm and grounded. Listen to yourself to know what is best for you.

Based on my own personal experience this also changes depending on our age:
I know when I was 30, my focus was very different to 40.
  • At 30 I was focused on creating my family and being a wife and mother.
  • At 40 I was involved with my children’s education and day to day life, I was not thinking of my goals. I did not really have any beyond my children’s wellbeing and development.
  • At 50 I noticed that I had to get to know myself much better and feeling at peace and fulfilled became my goal. I found my purpose late but am thrilled it involves supporting others to grow.
  • Turning 60 was fabulous as I had completely grown into my skin by then and was more than happy to focus on my core values and needs and knew exactly what grounds me and offers me that wonderful sense of calm.
  • Approaching 70 my new goal is answering the question ‘how do I want this next chapter of my life to look and feel.
I have no complaints or regrets and admire the younger people I work with on their personal development while achieving and striving for their goals. I was never like that but love how my life was and is moving forward.  Each person will know what is right for them. Follow your heart and remember that 'you cannot take anything with you'. No matter what you achieve and how much you earn, how you feel is as important along the way. 


By Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development, Self-help author since 2014. 

Photo credit: Pexels​

Emotionally Intelligent Stress Management

9/11/2022

 
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These are a sample of options you have when in need of some stress relief:
  • Take a break and leave the room. Find a quiet space, even the loo will do.  
  • Compose yourself by taking at least 3 breaths. As you exhale, imagine a little bit of the tension leaving your body. (I find visualizing a dark cloud dissipating helpful.)
  • Gather your thoughts.  
  • Keep your focus on exactly what has been going on that is causing you the stress. Is it the task itself? How about more basic such as hunger or the space around you?
  • Does it will involve another person or people… What is missing?  
  • Once you know specifically what has thrown you out of balance, think about what can you do now to influence the situation.
  • Consider all the steps required to find a solution. Make a list, if only a mental list.  
  • What can you do today, right now?  Arrange your list in terms of priority. What has to be done first, then what?  
  • Consider the practicalities of your action plan. Is it realistic? Have you the time?  
  • Do you need advice or support? If so, whose?  
  • Fine-tune the steps you consider necessary to resolve the situation. Keep things realistic to avoid feeling pressure.
  • Having thought things through you may find the problem has changed in perspective. Adjust the plan accordingly.

It is most import to ensure that any action you propose to take is in keeping with your personality and can be executed in a style that suits you.
 
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Self-Help Author 

Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments 
3rd editon out now in any Amazon store worldwide 

Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Audible and iTunes.

Photo by Shutterstock

Listen to excerpts from the Audiobook:
​Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments by Suzie Doscher
​iTunes or Audible
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    Raise your self-awareness with this:
    Self-Help Book
    Self-Coaching Exercises

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    Updated 3rd edition (2022)
    at Amazon stores worldwide

     "A truly inspiring book" I have read this book at a point in my life where I wanted something to change and I didn't know if it ever could. Through these pages I have understood how our experience in life depends 90% on us and not on external events, and that is a life changing lesson indeed." Absolutely recommended.
    Suzie Doscher is a Professional Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development. Located in Zurich, Switzerland. Her approach to personal development is practical and successful.  
    Suzie is happiest when helping people. 
    Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book. 


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YOU ARE THE CEO OF YOUR LIFE 
​

Let's start making some changes

​Executive Coach focusing on Self Development 
Accredited Professional Master Coach (IAPC&M)
​Native English Speaking

​ Zurich - Thalwil, Switzerland
Phone: + 41 43 443 59 54​
​

Email​ link
 suzie@suziedoscher.com
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