Can you tell us who you are and what you do?
I am a Professional Master Coach accredited by the International Authority for Professional Coaching and Mentoring (IAPCM). I am American born, grew up in Switzerland where my family moved in the 60’s. My father was the marketing man for a US corporation establishing European headquarters. Corporate lifestyle and executives were very much part of my upbringing. Consequently I feel at home in and amongst any cultures and with all management levels within organizations. A feeling for ‘life at work’ and how it integrates ‘with life at home’ comes to me naturally and is my passion as a coach. After 32 years in England I now live back in Switzerland and work internationally since 2006. What is your elevator pitch? “Where there is a will, there is a way”. 'I support you and together we find the way and keep your motivation in tact to stay on the ‘way’. What is the one thing that makes you unique in this profession? My goal is not keep clients involved in long-term contracts. I love that about coaching. I work with my clients for a little while, establishing the needed skills to deal with the obstacles in their way. I am here for them to come back to for some ‘maintenance’ or ‘upgrades’ at a later date. To me successful coaching means my client is in a better place having enhanced their strengths, manage their weaknesses better, and are able to handle day to day with more comfort and ease. What makes you stand out from the crowd? I am known for my incisive questioning, open-heart, ability not to be judgmental and holding the space with and for my clients. Equally for being able to quickly grasp the underlying issues. I have been told that 'clarity' is one of my specialties. What inspired you to become a coach? 1. The Present It is best to start by examining your present-day reality. Determine 'what is working' and 'what is not working'. Once you have the answers explore what you can influence and what not. Eckhart Tolle refers to living in the Now, which means being able to see and feel what your life is in the present moment. The present-day buzzword for this is to be mindful by practicing mindfulness. Standing in a beautiful park, by a calming body of water, or attending your child’s school play or other family event, and actually seeing the trees, feeling the flow and energy of the water, enjoying the play or event while feeling joy instead of being lost in your thoughts (which are taking you elsewhere) is experiencing the now, the present moment, being mindful of that very moment. Thoughts can propel you into an entirely different location even if you are not there physically. It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. When you are able to live in the day life becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You empower yourself by influencing what you can influence. This becomes a powerful technique to step out of stress. This is not to say you should never think of the future and plan to reach your goals and avoid pitfalls. It is more about how this is done. Keep your energy where it is needed - in the day. Deal with issues and problems as they arise. By doing this you keep yourself strong to deal with the present-day reality. Your self-confidence and self-esteem will thank you. 2. The Future Do you end up doing everything yourself? How would it be if you could ask for, trust, or accept the help of others? It can be so difficult to even consider asking for someone’s help when you are used to coping with everything on your own. There might indeed be times when you do not even accept help offered. Today, society contains some very bizarre patterns. You are born into a community called the family, you grow up within communities, for example school, friends, relationships, teams in the work place, and clubs you seek to join, etc. As social creatures life is set up around communities. Yet we no longer find it easy to ask for help. Whatever the reasons for this are, we can all benefit from a little support sometimes. Consider this short story (author unknown): A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, “Are you using all your strength?” “Yes, I am”, the little boy said impatiently. “No, you are not”, the father answered. “I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.” If you need to get a chore, job or task done, schedule organized, a school-run worked out, or any other task How are you doing?
I do not mean physically. I am referring to how you are doing emotionally. There are all sorts of people, all sorts of approaches to handle life, all sorts of approaches and mindsets, all sorts of biases, fears, beliefs and all sorts of processing ways and speeds. I spent a weekend in the Swiss Alps where across one of the gorgeous small alpine lakes a slack line event was happening. It was amazing to watch all levels of slack line walkers move across the lake. At first I thought “I guess falling into the water is not too bad” followed by “but then they have to swim back to shore and start again”. I noticed they were wearing a safety harness. Losing balance meant still being attached to the line, so they would not fall into the water. To start again they beautifully maneuvered with grace and elegance back up on the line. Anyhow, this all made me realize that ‘getting back up’ is a most vital skill to have for life with all of its ups and downs. After all the reality of life is a series of ups and downs. In a step-by-step approach I examined my own approach to ‘getting back up’. Listen to the Audio version narrated by Suzie Doscher - 4.30 mins You choose what you will wear and eat, what films you see, who you socialize with. You make choices all day long in your professional and personal life. In the same way, you also have the choice of which thoughts to focus on. The nice, happy thoughts, of course, are not a problem for they give energy, put a smile on your face, and are inspiring as well as motivating.
Everybody has negative thoughts. They are the ones that are easy to obsess over and rob you of energy, leaving you feeling drained. Believe it or not, how long you allow negative thoughts to influence your mood, day, or even life is up to you. Every thought you have either weakens you or strengthens you. It is important to realize that thoughts are not reality. Assumptions are good examples of this. Just because you assume something does not make it true. When you are struggling to stop obsessing about something, remind yourself that you have a choice to move on to a thought that might make you feel better in that moment. It is best to acknowledge negative thoughts when they come up and then choose not to stay with them by distracting yourself. No one can eliminate all bad thoughts, but you can make the conscious decision to be in charge of your thinking. Filter through what is real and what needs your focus. Your mind is yours to control. You cannot control the first thought, but you can control the second. Choose to consciously override thoughts that weaken you. This will allow you to feel you have some personal power. Some suggestions to explore: Someone makes a choice you simply do not understand. The consequences may or may not touch your life, involve you, affect you. One way or another you cannot see what they are basing their decision on. This is the part that makes accepting their choice so difficult. I am going to break this down into two parts. Part One: Understanding Take the view that:
Part Two: Acceptance A few years back I worked with a client, let’s call him Eric, the COO of a medium sized established company. I was inspired to write this article as it often tends to be our thinking / mindset / perspective that can trip us up, as was the case with him. Everybody has set ways of thinking about things. This is true for your private life as well as in your working environment. Where your perspective comes from and what it is based on comes usually from past experiences. By past, I mean it can come from way back, or even recent bad experiences with the last boss or partner or life in general. What matters now, in the present moment, is the awareness that these experiences exist, might be driving your behaviour and give you your perspective on things. This can form beliefs, biases, judgements and any, negative thoughts. If you are ready to start changing the results you are getting then these tips can help you challenge your thoughts. After all Einstein says: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”
If listening is easier check out the audio version narrated by the author (Suzie Doscher). In my own life one of the important realizations was that balance is possible and it was mine if I wanted it. What followed was a fair amount of self-reflection, openness, and honesty with myself. Setting aside time to explore my definition of balance, by questioning what was missing and what I was already doing successfully, was time well spent. Since then, I have a good grasp on the various elements of day-to-day life. For me personally knowing my heart and mind are working together is what keeps me balanced. The sense of calm, of being grounded and clearheaded, motivates me to keep my life in balance.
Choosing to create balance will reflect in these six areas of your life:
Most of us spend a large part of the day working. Making sure the remaining hours offer some form of nurturing and reenergizing is vital. There is a difference for single people versus married, with or without children, whether you travel, live internationally and interculturally. Choose the area most in need of attention and nurturing. In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behaviour indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.”
This personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood, alcoholic parents, abusive behaviour, or early abandonment. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers. I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behaviour of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job. One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that they do not understand how their behaviour and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behaviour comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of being a control freak. Self-help Audiobook: BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments by Suzie Doscher19/7/2023
Listen to the INTRODUCTION to the self-help book: |
Suzie Doscher is a Professional Executive Coach focusing on Personal Development. Located in Zurich, Switzerland. Her approach to personal development is practical and successful.
Suzie is happiest when helping people. Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book. Author |