1. The Present
Eckhart Tolle refers to living in the now, which means being able to see and feel what your life is in the present moment. The present-day buzzword for this is to be mindful by practicing mindfulness. Standing in a beautiful park, by a calming body of water, or attending your child’s school play or other family event, and actually seeing the trees, feeling the flow and energy of the water, enjoying the play or event while feeling joy instead of being lost in your thoughts (which are taking you elsewhere) is experiencing the now, the present moment, being mindful of that very moment. Thoughts can propel you into an entirely different location even if you are not there physically. It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. When you are able to live in the day life becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You empower yourself by influencing what you can influence. This becomes a powerful technique to step out of stress. This is not to say you should never think of the future and plan to reach your goals and avoid pitfalls. It is more about how this is done. Keep your energy where it is needed - in the day. Examine your present-day reality and determine what is working and what is not working. Explore what you can influence and what not. 
Finding It Difficult to Fall Asleep?
Thoughts that are keeping you awake clearly want some attention. Otherwise, they would not still be lurking around in the back of your head, keeping your mind and body from unwinding and relaxing into a good night’s sleep. Ideally, sleep helps process our emotions. I look at a good night’s sleep as comparable to an effective filing system – while sleeping, your mind files what needs to be kept and your emotions discard anything unnecessary. Your emotions then have time to settle, and your intuition has a chance to speak to you. A good night’s sleep allows for a fresh mind, the possibility of a new approach, to start the day feeling more balanced. Thinking habits and problem-solving skills, no matter how good and effective they are, do not always allow for the mind to be at peace every night. by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coach for Personal Development, Self-Help Author How can companies best support their employees during these difficult and challenging covid related times?. Working from home has added some extra issues to deal with. Individuals benefit from support dealing with:
(Coaching is not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care or substance abuse treatment) Get in touch - Let's talk There’s more to life than reaching targets – Try including life skills for support to achieve a more balanced life? By Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach & Life Coach focusing on Personal Development,
Self-help Author When a company focuses solely on reaching targets and continually pushes employees to reach these goals, the side effects often result in a high turnover and burnout rate. Ironically, this can cause the company NOT to achieve its targets in the desired timeframe. Pushing too hard in one direction results in an inevitable push back from the opposite direction. This is a law of nature that applies to the business world as well. Stressed employees trying to reach sometimes unrealistic or unnecessary targets tend to operate at half of their capacity. They start to make mistakes and lose track of the details amid their overwhelming work schedules. They tend to suffer physically exhaustion as well. All of this hurts productivity, the very thing the company is trying to increase.  “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” - Charles R. Swindoll (Shutterstock) Learning how to respond to a situation rather than just reacting to it brings huge rewards. Needless to say, it is one of those behaviour changes that is easier said than done. However it can be achieved.
Responding rather than reacting means you will have taken time to consider the situation and which response and consequent outcome best suits you. The difference between reacting and responding:
To react means you are not able to influence your emotions and you act emotionally rather than from a place of clarity. What you can gain by stopping knee-jerk reactions is a sense of strength, achievement, power to influence, calmness, plus an increase in your self-esteem. The rewards will be felt not only in your private life, but also at work.  Shutterstock 'Balance - A Practical Handbook and Workbook for Life's Difficult Moments' by Suzie Doscher is about change and learning the necessary everyday skills required for life = life skills. The exercises help you improve the quality of your life, supports you in difficult moments and handle life’s challenging every-day situations better. It is a practical hands-on self coaching tool. Read or listen to it when you feel vulnerable, unsure of yourself, or ineffective in difficult and stressful moments. Learn how to handle your stress effectively with the help of the insights in the book. Bear in mind that there is no balance where there is stress – stress contradicts calmness and happiness. Choose which one you wish to have more of..it is up to you. The goal of this book is to help you create new opportunities, learn new behaviors, and become the best version of yourself. It is all about practical action oriented insights, steps and behavior change. Order Your Book Now
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| By Brie Schwartz In Oprah Winfrey's latest book, The Path Made Clear (available March 26) she explores the power of setting intentions and accepting your calling. Through her inspirational words, we're reminded to follow our intuition—something she explains has been instrumental in her career. Her upcoming work compiles the key lessons she's learned on her journey to self-discovery, combined with wisdom and personal stories from those she admires—including Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Eckhart Tolle. |
Early in the The Path Made Clear, the media mogul describes the moment she discovered her purpose. It was August, 1978, and she was working as a news anchor and reporter on People Are Talking, a Baltimore talk show—but it didn't feel right. "I knew I was not my authentic self," she writes. "And my bosses certainly made no secret of their feelings. They told me I was the wrong color, the wrong size, and that I showed too much emotion."
FYI: this is a very long article.
by Benjamin P. Hardy, Author, husband, father
According to the British philosopher, Alain de Botton, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.” How different is your life, right now, from where you were 12 months ago? If it’s quite similar, then you haven’t been learning very much.
To learn, by nature, is to change and evolve. In order to change and evolve, you need to regularly create peak experiences — those moments which create deep awe, gratitude, and a shift in how you see yourself and the world. When was your last peak experience? What was the last time you flexed your courage muscles? When was the last time you tried something that might not work?
If you’re ready to make wild progress during 2019, you need to make some tweaks. This isn’t anything to be upset, distraught, or frustrated about. Life is, inherently, a learning experience. Life is beautiful. You get to have fun with it. One thing that is really beautiful about moving forward intensely in your future is that, simultaneously, you change your memory about the past. The past, regardless of what it has been — great or disappointing — will change in meaning as you make new decisions in your future. Your future is flexible. Your past is also flexible. What you have is now. You get to decide what you’re going to do. You get to decide how you’re going to live. Look around… No one is stopping you. Want to make a shift? Here are 30 behaviors to get you started:
1. Wake Up Earlier
“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.” —
by Benjamin P. Hardy, Author, husband, father
According to the British philosopher, Alain de Botton, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.” How different is your life, right now, from where you were 12 months ago? If it’s quite similar, then you haven’t been learning very much.
To learn, by nature, is to change and evolve. In order to change and evolve, you need to regularly create peak experiences — those moments which create deep awe, gratitude, and a shift in how you see yourself and the world. When was your last peak experience? What was the last time you flexed your courage muscles? When was the last time you tried something that might not work?
If you’re ready to make wild progress during 2019, you need to make some tweaks. This isn’t anything to be upset, distraught, or frustrated about. Life is, inherently, a learning experience. Life is beautiful. You get to have fun with it. One thing that is really beautiful about moving forward intensely in your future is that, simultaneously, you change your memory about the past. The past, regardless of what it has been — great or disappointing — will change in meaning as you make new decisions in your future. Your future is flexible. Your past is also flexible. What you have is now. You get to decide what you’re going to do. You get to decide how you’re going to live. Look around… No one is stopping you. Want to make a shift? Here are 30 behaviors to get you started:
1. Wake Up Earlier
“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.” —
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Zurich, Switzerland
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behavior of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that he or she does not understand how their behavior and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behavior comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of the need to be controlling.
The attempts to control a situation or environment are intended to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This is a sign of low self-esteem.
One of the areas they often manipulate is conversation. A control freak is most comfortable if he or she decides what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can be. This manipulation is achieved by constant interruption, finishing the sentence for the person, not listening with attention, doing distracting things like getting up and walking around, or even walking out of the room saying, “I am still listening.” A control freak does not consider that he or she is being controlling, but is convinced his or her way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that he or she does not instigate.
Controllers also control themselves; you might observe obsessive habits in them – whether in a private relationship or at work.
Here are helpful tips to consider when dealing with a micro-manager:
A control freak has the ability to bring you down a couple of notches and take the wind out of your sails. They can make people feel insecure. You may want to distance yourself if it is possible. If not,because the person is a member of your family or work colleague or boss, then consider what choices you do have based on the points raised above.
Raising your awareness to the fact that the person is micro-managing frequently already helps to make the situation easier to handle.
The benefits of establishing a manner of communication where you do not allow the control freak to rob you of your energy or drown you with negativity is that you become stronger, more assertive, and empowered.
In summary, here are helpful steps for handling the moment:
Being in the company of control freaks can feel like being with Energy Vampires.
Their ability to endlessly bring the attention backonto themselves is draining and exhausting. Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time.
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behavior of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that he or she does not understand how their behavior and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behavior comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of the need to be controlling.
The attempts to control a situation or environment are intended to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This is a sign of low self-esteem.
One of the areas they often manipulate is conversation. A control freak is most comfortable if he or she decides what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can be. This manipulation is achieved by constant interruption, finishing the sentence for the person, not listening with attention, doing distracting things like getting up and walking around, or even walking out of the room saying, “I am still listening.” A control freak does not consider that he or she is being controlling, but is convinced his or her way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that he or she does not instigate.
Controllers also control themselves; you might observe obsessive habits in them – whether in a private relationship or at work.
Here are helpful tips to consider when dealing with a micro-manager:
- If someone dominates conversations, allow him or her to finish. Then, in a calm manner say, “I understand what you are saying and now I would like to express my thoughts.”
- If someone continually gives you his or her advice by telling you exactly what you should be doing, again, in a calm manner say, “I value your advice, but I wish to consider my own thoughts on this matter as well.”
- Your goal for establishing a healthier communication pattern with a control freak is to eventually “agree to disagree.”
- Be as consistent as possible with the style in which you communicate. It will require patience and time, butitcan result in turning the negative communication pattern into one that is more acceptable to you.
- Express yourself assertively without giving the person the feeling that you are telling him or her what to do. Never try to control a controller.
- Remain calm and be consistent with controllers. Getting angry does not achieve anything. Control freaks have no problem with arguments. In fact, they seek power struggles. Remember, in their minds the world should feel, think, and do what they deem is right.
- You can walk out of the room into a better space; they, however, are left with their issues, unless they seek support.
A control freak has the ability to bring you down a couple of notches and take the wind out of your sails. They can make people feel insecure. You may want to distance yourself if it is possible. If not,because the person is a member of your family or work colleague or boss, then consider what choices you do have based on the points raised above.
Raising your awareness to the fact that the person is micro-managing frequently already helps to make the situation easier to handle.
The benefits of establishing a manner of communication where you do not allow the control freak to rob you of your energy or drown you with negativity is that you become stronger, more assertive, and empowered.
In summary, here are helpful steps for handling the moment:
- Acknowledge that you are in conversation with a control freak.
- Whenever possible,buy yourself some time by taking a couple of deep breaths after excusing yourself for a minute. If you can leave the situation for longer, take a walk around the block to clear your head. Remind yourself that you are dealing with a control freak.
- Accept that you are not going to be able to change how the person behaves or who he or she is. Maintain the focus on your reactions and communication style.
- Remind yourself that you do not know what makes the control freak behave this way, so try not to judge them.
- In conversations, listen without interrupting. Be calm and patient.
- Express your own opinion/thoughts. Be assertive, but not aggressive.
- Once the conversation is over, do something that will nourish you. This might be as simple as taking in a couple of deep breaths and exhaling the negative energy the control freak brings along.
- Accept that you handled the situation as best as can be expected and that it will take time and practice not to feel affected by a control freak/micro-manager’s behavior style.
Being in the company of control freaks can feel like being with Energy Vampires.
Their ability to endlessly bring the attention backonto themselves is draining and exhausting. Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time.
'Control Freaks - Also Knowns as Micro-Managers' is an |  |
by Nora Battelle, Multimedia Staff Writer at Thrive Global
Confidence is the key to success, according to new research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -- especially if it’s expressed nonverbally.
Nathan Meikle, Ph.D., a postdoctoral research and teaching associate at the University of Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business, led the research. His team found that study participants consistently choose to work with confident potential collaborators or advisors over cautious ones. That is to say, exuding confidence makes people want to work with you. This has been documented before: Research has shown that confidence increases our belief in someone’s competence.
Confidence is the key to success, according to new research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -- especially if it’s expressed nonverbally.
Nathan Meikle, Ph.D., a postdoctoral research and teaching associate at the University of Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business, led the research. His team found that study participants consistently choose to work with confident potential collaborators or advisors over cautious ones. That is to say, exuding confidence makes people want to work with you. This has been documented before: Research has shown that confidence increases our belief in someone’s competence.
Dear Suzie,
Congratulations!
I am stopping by with exciting news.
Your book, Balance: A Practical Handbook and Workbook for Finding Balance during Life’s Difficult Moments appears in this month’s #AspireMag Top 10 Inspiring Books List along with 9 other visionary female authors.
This month’s Top 10 Inspirational Book List
Publisher Linda Joy embraces the feminine collaborative model and loves playing, partnering and working with visionary leaders who do the same. For over ten years, she has been supporting visionary female leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs in getting their message and brand in front of the women they are meant to serve.
Congratulations!
I am stopping by with exciting news.
Your book, Balance: A Practical Handbook and Workbook for Finding Balance during Life’s Difficult Moments appears in this month’s #AspireMag Top 10 Inspiring Books List along with 9 other visionary female authors.
This month’s Top 10 Inspirational Book List
Publisher Linda Joy embraces the feminine collaborative model and loves playing, partnering and working with visionary leaders who do the same. For over ten years, she has been supporting visionary female leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs in getting their message and brand in front of the women they are meant to serve.
"Thank You #Aspire Magazine
A lovely Holiday Season Surprise for me"
Suzie Doscher
http://www.aspiremag.net/top-10-inspirational-books-december-2018-2/
 2nd Updated Edition 2018 | BALANCE |
The BALANCE Handbook helps you with difficult moments
This book is about change and finding balance in life.
Read it when you feel vulnerable and unsure of yourself.
This book will help you find new opportunities, learn new behaviors and life skills to become the best version of yourself.
Handle everyday problems more effectively and improve the quality of your life and the life of those around you.
Take the time to invest in yourself before you find yourself off balance. Strengthen your weaknesses before they rule your life.
This 2nd Edition Handbook now includes the Interactive Workbook for Self-Coaching. With the journaling in the Workbook you explore your goals, where you stand now and the issues from the past holding you back.
Order your book today and start bringing more balance into your life.
This book is about change and finding balance in life.
Read it when you feel vulnerable and unsure of yourself.
This book will help you find new opportunities, learn new behaviors and life skills to become the best version of yourself.
Handle everyday problems more effectively and improve the quality of your life and the life of those around you.
Take the time to invest in yourself before you find yourself off balance. Strengthen your weaknesses before they rule your life.
This 2nd Edition Handbook now includes the Interactive Workbook for Self-Coaching. With the journaling in the Workbook you explore your goals, where you stand now and the issues from the past holding you back.
Order your book today and start bringing more balance into your life.
Contact Suzie Doscher
to book a coaching session with her
.by Nora Battelle
Dealing with a toxic coworker is a uniquely difficult situation: You probably don’t have the ability to cut off a relationship with that person, as you would a friend or romantic partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to accept the status quo indefinitely. In fact, it’s crucial to find a healthy way to navigate a difficult working relationship. Left ignored, it can become perilous for you, your team and your company’s bottom line.
In a seminal book by psychologists Alan A. Cavaoila, Ph.D., and Neil J. Lavender, Ph.D., called Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job: Working with Narcissists, Borderlines, Sociopaths, Schizoids and Others, the authors highlight a staggering stat that’ll make you feel less alone as you traverse this tricky terrain: Of the 1,100 employees the duo surveyed, 80 percent of them reported experiencing moderate to severe stress as the result of dealing with a toxic coworker, whether they were a boss or subordinate. And a Harvard School of Business survey of..
Dealing with a toxic coworker is a uniquely difficult situation: You probably don’t have the ability to cut off a relationship with that person, as you would a friend or romantic partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to accept the status quo indefinitely. In fact, it’s crucial to find a healthy way to navigate a difficult working relationship. Left ignored, it can become perilous for you, your team and your company’s bottom line.
In a seminal book by psychologists Alan A. Cavaoila, Ph.D., and Neil J. Lavender, Ph.D., called Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job: Working with Narcissists, Borderlines, Sociopaths, Schizoids and Others, the authors highlight a staggering stat that’ll make you feel less alone as you traverse this tricky terrain: Of the 1,100 employees the duo surveyed, 80 percent of them reported experiencing moderate to severe stress as the result of dealing with a toxic coworker, whether they were a boss or subordinate. And a Harvard School of Business survey of..
Wiggling your toes, strategic doodling,
listening for secrets --
try these techniques to stop a stress spiral in its tracks.
by Marina Khidekel, Editorial Director at Thrive Global
It’s time for bed but your brain won’t stop whirring. You’re heading into an important meeting and feel your mind spiraling. What do you do?
We often talk about the longer-term habits and behavior changes that help us live happier, healthier, and more purposeful lives. But sometimes you need in-the-moment strategies for an infusion of calm.
We asked Thrive Global’s contributor community which short mental and physical tactics they swear by to quiet a racing mind. Which of these will you try?
Roll your shoulders
“My trick is to bring my shoulders forward, up and back in a circular motion slowly. I do this once only. Instantly, my chest opens, my back is straighter, my posture is better, and I feel calmer. All the tension in my neck and shoulders goes away and my head is clear.”
—PM, teacher, Ireland
BY MALISSA CLARK - 3 MINUTE READ
When I tell people that I study workaholism for a living, I’m usually bombarded by suggestions of subjects I could do a case study on. It seems that everyone can think of at least one person in their lives that they’d label a workaholic–or, perhaps, they identify as a workaholic themselves.
The definition of workaholism has expanded over the years to include motivational, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components–but understanding why you’re overworking can help you unlock ways to deal with it.
A BRIEF TAXONOMY OF WORKAHOLISMThese are a few of the leading causes of overwork:
When I tell people that I study workaholism for a living, I’m usually bombarded by suggestions of subjects I could do a case study on. It seems that everyone can think of at least one person in their lives that they’d label a workaholic–or, perhaps, they identify as a workaholic themselves.
The definition of workaholism has expanded over the years to include motivational, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components–but understanding why you’re overworking can help you unlock ways to deal with it.
A BRIEF TAXONOMY OF WORKAHOLISMThese are a few of the leading causes of overwork:
- Motivational: Workaholics are different from people who are simply highly engaged in their jobs. They don’t enjoy their work; they feel compelled to work because of internal pressures. In other words, they work because they feel like they should or ought to be working.
- Cognitive: Workaholics have persistent thoughts about work when they’re not working, and they find it difficult to mentally disengage from work.
- Emotional: Workaholics experience negative emotions like anxiety and guilt when they aren’t working.
- Behavioral: Workaholics tend to work beyond what is reasonably expected of them by their organization.
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"A truly inspiring book" I have read this book at a point in my life where I wanted something to change and I didn't know if it ever could. Through these pages I have understood how our experience in life depends 90% on us and not on external events, and that is a life changing lesson indeed." Absolutely recommended.
Suzie Doscher is a Professional Executive Coach and Life Coach focusing on Personal Development. Located in Zurich, Switzerland. Her approach to personal development is practical and successful.
Suzie is happiest when helping people.
Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book.
Suzie is happiest when helping people.
Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book.
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