These are a sample of options you have when in need of some stress relief:
It is most import to ensure that any action you propose to take is in keeping with your personality and can be executed in a style that suits you. by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Self-Help Author Remind yourself that life is constantly changing,
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| By Brie Schwartz In Oprah Winfrey's latest book, The Path Made Clear (available March 26) she explores the power of setting intentions and accepting your calling. Through her inspirational words, we're reminded to follow our intuition—something she explains has been instrumental in her career. Her upcoming work compiles the key lessons she's learned on her journey to self-discovery, combined with wisdom and personal stories from those she admires—including Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Eckhart Tolle. |
Early in the The Path Made Clear, the media mogul describes the moment she discovered her purpose. It was August, 1978, and she was working as a news anchor and reporter on People Are Talking, a Baltimore talk show—but it didn't feel right. "I knew I was not my authentic self," she writes. "And my bosses certainly made no secret of their feelings. They told me I was the wrong color, the wrong size, and that I showed too much emotion."
FYI: this is a very long article.
by Benjamin P. Hardy, Author, husband, father
According to the British philosopher, Alain de Botton, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.” How different is your life, right now, from where you were 12 months ago? If it’s quite similar, then you haven’t been learning very much.
To learn, by nature, is to change and evolve. In order to change and evolve, you need to regularly create peak experiences — those moments which create deep awe, gratitude, and a shift in how you see yourself and the world. When was your last peak experience? What was the last time you flexed your courage muscles? When was the last time you tried something that might not work?
If you’re ready to make wild progress during 2019, you need to make some tweaks. This isn’t anything to be upset, distraught, or frustrated about. Life is, inherently, a learning experience. Life is beautiful. You get to have fun with it. One thing that is really beautiful about moving forward intensely in your future is that, simultaneously, you change your memory about the past. The past, regardless of what it has been — great or disappointing — will change in meaning as you make new decisions in your future. Your future is flexible. Your past is also flexible. What you have is now. You get to decide what you’re going to do. You get to decide how you’re going to live. Look around… No one is stopping you. Want to make a shift? Here are 30 behaviors to get you started:
1. Wake Up Earlier
“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.” —
by Benjamin P. Hardy, Author, husband, father
According to the British philosopher, Alain de Botton, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.” How different is your life, right now, from where you were 12 months ago? If it’s quite similar, then you haven’t been learning very much.
To learn, by nature, is to change and evolve. In order to change and evolve, you need to regularly create peak experiences — those moments which create deep awe, gratitude, and a shift in how you see yourself and the world. When was your last peak experience? What was the last time you flexed your courage muscles? When was the last time you tried something that might not work?
If you’re ready to make wild progress during 2019, you need to make some tweaks. This isn’t anything to be upset, distraught, or frustrated about. Life is, inherently, a learning experience. Life is beautiful. You get to have fun with it. One thing that is really beautiful about moving forward intensely in your future is that, simultaneously, you change your memory about the past. The past, regardless of what it has been — great or disappointing — will change in meaning as you make new decisions in your future. Your future is flexible. Your past is also flexible. What you have is now. You get to decide what you’re going to do. You get to decide how you’re going to live. Look around… No one is stopping you. Want to make a shift? Here are 30 behaviors to get you started:
1. Wake Up Earlier
“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.” —
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Zurich, Switzerland
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behavior of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that he or she does not understand how their behavior and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behavior comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of the need to be controlling.
The attempts to control a situation or environment are intended to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This is a sign of low self-esteem.
One of the areas they often manipulate is conversation. A control freak is most comfortable if he or she decides what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can be. This manipulation is achieved by constant interruption, finishing the sentence for the person, not listening with attention, doing distracting things like getting up and walking around, or even walking out of the room saying, “I am still listening.” A control freak does not consider that he or she is being controlling, but is convinced his or her way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that he or she does not instigate.
Controllers also control themselves; you might observe obsessive habits in them – whether in a private relationship or at work.
Here are helpful tips to consider when dealing with a micro-manager:
A control freak has the ability to bring you down a couple of notches and take the wind out of your sails. They can make people feel insecure. You may want to distance yourself if it is possible. If not,because the person is a member of your family or work colleague or boss, then consider what choices you do have based on the points raised above.
Raising your awareness to the fact that the person is micro-managing frequently already helps to make the situation easier to handle.
The benefits of establishing a manner of communication where you do not allow the control freak to rob you of your energy or drown you with negativity is that you become stronger, more assertive, and empowered.
In summary, here are helpful steps for handling the moment:
Being in the company of control freaks can feel like being with Energy Vampires.
Their ability to endlessly bring the attention backonto themselves is draining and exhausting. Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time.
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behavior of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that he or she does not understand how their behavior and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behavior comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of the need to be controlling.
The attempts to control a situation or environment are intended to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This is a sign of low self-esteem.
One of the areas they often manipulate is conversation. A control freak is most comfortable if he or she decides what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can be. This manipulation is achieved by constant interruption, finishing the sentence for the person, not listening with attention, doing distracting things like getting up and walking around, or even walking out of the room saying, “I am still listening.” A control freak does not consider that he or she is being controlling, but is convinced his or her way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that he or she does not instigate.
Controllers also control themselves; you might observe obsessive habits in them – whether in a private relationship or at work.
Here are helpful tips to consider when dealing with a micro-manager:
- If someone dominates conversations, allow him or her to finish. Then, in a calm manner say, “I understand what you are saying and now I would like to express my thoughts.”
- If someone continually gives you his or her advice by telling you exactly what you should be doing, again, in a calm manner say, “I value your advice, but I wish to consider my own thoughts on this matter as well.”
- Your goal for establishing a healthier communication pattern with a control freak is to eventually “agree to disagree.”
- Be as consistent as possible with the style in which you communicate. It will require patience and time, butitcan result in turning the negative communication pattern into one that is more acceptable to you.
- Express yourself assertively without giving the person the feeling that you are telling him or her what to do. Never try to control a controller.
- Remain calm and be consistent with controllers. Getting angry does not achieve anything. Control freaks have no problem with arguments. In fact, they seek power struggles. Remember, in their minds the world should feel, think, and do what they deem is right.
- You can walk out of the room into a better space; they, however, are left with their issues, unless they seek support.
A control freak has the ability to bring you down a couple of notches and take the wind out of your sails. They can make people feel insecure. You may want to distance yourself if it is possible. If not,because the person is a member of your family or work colleague or boss, then consider what choices you do have based on the points raised above.
Raising your awareness to the fact that the person is micro-managing frequently already helps to make the situation easier to handle.
The benefits of establishing a manner of communication where you do not allow the control freak to rob you of your energy or drown you with negativity is that you become stronger, more assertive, and empowered.
In summary, here are helpful steps for handling the moment:
- Acknowledge that you are in conversation with a control freak.
- Whenever possible,buy yourself some time by taking a couple of deep breaths after excusing yourself for a minute. If you can leave the situation for longer, take a walk around the block to clear your head. Remind yourself that you are dealing with a control freak.
- Accept that you are not going to be able to change how the person behaves or who he or she is. Maintain the focus on your reactions and communication style.
- Remind yourself that you do not know what makes the control freak behave this way, so try not to judge them.
- In conversations, listen without interrupting. Be calm and patient.
- Express your own opinion/thoughts. Be assertive, but not aggressive.
- Once the conversation is over, do something that will nourish you. This might be as simple as taking in a couple of deep breaths and exhaling the negative energy the control freak brings along.
- Accept that you handled the situation as best as can be expected and that it will take time and practice not to feel affected by a control freak/micro-manager’s behavior style.
Being in the company of control freaks can feel like being with Energy Vampires.
Their ability to endlessly bring the attention backonto themselves is draining and exhausting. Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time.
'Control Freaks - Also Knowns as Micro-Managers' is an |  |
by Nora Battelle, Multimedia Staff Writer at Thrive Global
Confidence is the key to success, according to new research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -- especially if it’s expressed nonverbally.
Nathan Meikle, Ph.D., a postdoctoral research and teaching associate at the University of Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business, led the research. His team found that study participants consistently choose to work with confident potential collaborators or advisors over cautious ones. That is to say, exuding confidence makes people want to work with you. This has been documented before: Research has shown that confidence increases our belief in someone’s competence.
Confidence is the key to success, according to new research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -- especially if it’s expressed nonverbally.
Nathan Meikle, Ph.D., a postdoctoral research and teaching associate at the University of Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business, led the research. His team found that study participants consistently choose to work with confident potential collaborators or advisors over cautious ones. That is to say, exuding confidence makes people want to work with you. This has been documented before: Research has shown that confidence increases our belief in someone’s competence.
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Suzie Doscher is a Professional Executive Coach and Life Coach focusing on Personal Development. Located in Zurich, Switzerland. Her approach to personal development is practical and successful.
Suzie is happiest when helping people.
Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book.
Suzie is happiest when helping people.
Her vision is everyone should have access to techniques for personal growth and development. This was the motivation behind her book.
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