1. The Present
Eckhart Tolle refers to living in the now, which means being able to see and feel what your life is in the present moment.
The present-day buzzword for this is to be mindful by practicing mindfulness.
Standing in a beautiful park, by a calming body of water, or attending your child’s school play or other family event, and actually seeing the trees, feeling the flow and energy of the water, enjoying the play or event while feeling joy instead of being lost in your thoughts (which are taking you elsewhere) is experiencing the now, the present moment, being mindful of that very moment.
Thoughts can propel you into an entirely different location even if you are not there physically. It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have.
When you are able to live in the day life becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You empower yourself by influencing what you can influence.
This becomes a powerful technique to step out of stress.
This is not to say you should never think of the future and plan to reach your goals and avoid pitfalls.
It is more about how this is done. Keep your energy where it is needed - in the day.
Examine your present-day reality and determine what is working and what is not working.
Explore what you can influence and what not.
Miscommunication can happen in any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. And when it does, it’s important that we step back and acknowledge how we can communicatemore clearly going forward. This is a topic we discuss in our book, Your Time to Thrive, where we use science, storytelling, ancient wisdom, and practical advice, to help readers improve their health, happiness, and sense of purpose.
We asked our Thrive community to share with us the words and phrases that help them communicate more effectively and mindfully. Which of these phrases will you start using?
“Tell me more.”
“I have learned to use appreciative inquiry to gain trust and open communication in personal and professional relationships. Phrases like, ‘Tell me more…’ or ‘What are you trying to achieve and how can I help you?’ create the feeling of inclusion and partnership to facilitate a two-way communication.”
—Isabelle Bart, social entrepreneur and coach, Orange County, CA
“Help me understand.”
“I find that everything is more effective when presented as an offer. This is especially helpful when presenting an opposing view. For example, I’ll say, ‘I’d offer that it’s more important to hire based on who is the best fit for the team than on experience. The reason is….’ I’ve also found that when people are nervous to speak in meetings or presentations, this simple opening helps because offering feels better than trying to prove yourself.”
—Pam Reece, leadership and wellness consultant, New York, N.Y.
“Do you want me to simply listen?”
“To encourage empathy and clarity in my conversations, I often find myself asking, ‘Can I share something about that with you or did you just want me to listen?’ Sometimes, people just want to be heard and are not looking for feedback, so this helps to gauge if they would like another perspective or not, and leaves the person feeling heard and cared for either way.”
—Julie Demsey, hypnotherapist, coach, author, Sydney, Australia
One of the most powerful words in the English lexicon today is “trigger.” We are finally accepting that there is a spectrum of internal and external influences that can legitimately take us off course. We understand that a person, place, object, event, even a smell can trigger an emotional response so potent, we can be transported back to a trauma we’ve worked hard to forget, or come to terms with. These triggers can threaten our well-being and disrupt feelings around our core values. They can appear out of nowhere and make us feel powerless.
As an aspiring leader, a trigger can become your biggest obstacle. A strong, effective leader needs to be able to identify their emotional triggers, understand what can set them off, and steel themselves when these triggers threaten to topple everything they’ve worked for.
Here are some strategies to help you identify and deal with those triggers so you can grow and develop into the leader you are meant to become.
Finding It Difficult to Fall Asleep?
Thoughts that are keeping you awake clearly want some attention. Otherwise, they would not still be lurking around in the back of your head, keeping your mind and body from unwinding and relaxing into a good night’s sleep. Ideally, sleep helps process our emotions. I look at a good night’s sleep as comparable to an effective filing system – while sleeping, your mind files what needs to be kept and your emotions discard anything unnecessary.
Your emotions then have time to settle, and your intuition has a chance to speak to you. A good night’s sleep allows for a fresh mind, the possibility of a new approach, to start the day feeling more balanced.
Thinking habits and problem-solving skills, no matter how good and effective they are, do not always allow for the mind to be at peace every night.
If you’re stuck tossing and turning once your head hits the pillow, these tips can help.
There are few things more frustrating than getting in bed after a long, tiring day only to realize your brain isn’t ready for sleep. You know those nights: Despite how exhausted you feel, your mind is off ruminating on tomorrow’s to-do list, your uncertainties about the pandemic, or whatever other worries are real for you in that moment. While you’re in the heat of tossing and turning, sleep can feel like a hopeless reality — but fortunately, that’s rarely the case. There are plenty of in-the-moment strategies that can help us kick our worries out the door so we can get the rest we need and deserve.
We asked our Thrive community to share their go-to strategies that help them fall asleep when they’re stuck tossing and turning. Which of these tips will you turn to the next time you can’t sleep?
by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coach for Personal Development, Self-Help Author
How can companies best support their employees during these difficult and challenging covid related times?.
Working from home has added some extra issues to deal with.
Individuals benefit from support dealing with:
(Coaching is not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care or substance abuse treatment)
Life is a great teacher — but no one gets a complete set of rules they’ll need for a better life or career.
Somehow you’re just supposed to know that building better and meaningful relationships can do more for your health and help you live a happier life.
Albert Einstein once said, “Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
There are no universal truths in life but there are fundamental skills that can help every functioning adult thrive in life. Those skills can be acquires with experience and time. Success is subjective but whatever your definition of success is, these essential skills can help you achieve it faster.
When to trust your gut and when to double-check with your rational mindAlbert Einstein has been widely quoted as saying, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Ever been asked to say a few things about yourself? Perhaps you said you’re a good communicator, attentive to details, or a team player. The point being, we all define ourselves in a certain way.
Here’s the paradox, though; It’s not what you say that is an accurate representation of who you are, but rather what you show yourself to be. That’s how people judge you. They respond to the image you project. As such, it’s critical to focus on what you do rather than what you say.
If you want to sell yourself to the world in an authentic way, focus on these four really small things because they say a lot about you. This way, you’re guaranteed to make a lasting impression and command respect from people.
By Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., Psychotherapist in Private Practice and Author of 40 books.
A surge in coronavirus cases nationwide has led to more restrictions. And people are struggling with how to deal with social isolation from friends and loved ones and how to live with school closings, rethinking holiday celebrations and working remotely. These hardships have led to public mental health challenges on a massive scale. There is a small bit of good news, though, about a remedy we all have at our fingertips to mitigate pandemic worry and frustration. A growing body of research indicates spending time in natural green spaces — parks, woodlands, mountains and beaches — has healing properties and underscores the value of exposure to nature for your mental and physical health during pandemic restrictions.
By Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach & Life Coach focusing on Personal Development,
When a company focuses solely on reaching targets and continually pushes employees to reach these goals, the side effects often result in a high turnover and burnout rate.
Ironically, this can cause the company NOT to achieve its targets in the desired timeframe. Pushing too hard in one direction results in an inevitable push back from the opposite direction. This is a law of nature that applies to the business world as well.
Stressed employees trying to reach sometimes unrealistic or unnecessary targets tend to operate at half of their capacity. They start to make mistakes and lose track of the details amid their overwhelming work schedules. They tend to suffer physically exhaustion as well. All of this hurts productivity, the very thing the company is trying to increase.
by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coaching focusing on Personal Development, Self-Help Author: Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments
Coaching your team? Add this skill to your coaching style – being non-judgmental.
There is an abundance of articles on being a coach to your people. I enjoy reading the quality information provided by the Harvard Business Review.
The desire to increase, enhance or maintain the quality of work, and in some cases even the quality of life at work, is evident.
The article in the HBR: Most Managers Don’t Know How to Coach. But They Can Learn, offers wonderful insights on what coaching is all about and aims to achieve.
Your responsibilities include leading, motivating, inspiring and with your coaching you hope to further their growth, development and enhance their skills.
By Marcel Schwantes at Inc.
In 2016, the World Economic Forum released its fascinating Future of Jobs Report, where they asked chief human resources officers from global companies what they saw as the top 10 job skills required for workers to thrive by 2020.
One skill projected for success in 2020 that didn’t even crack the top 10 list in 2015 was — you guessed it — emotional intelligence.
According to many experts in the field, emotional intelligence has become an important predictor of job success for nearly two decades, even surpassing technical ability.
In one noteworthy CareerBuilder survey of more than 2,600 U.S. hiring managers and human resources professionals, it was found that “fifty-nine percent of employers would not hire someone who has a high IQ but low [emotional intelligence].”
In fact, 75 percent of survey respondents said they’re more likely to promote someone with high emotional intelligence over someone with high IQ.
Companies are placing a high value on workers with emotional intelligence for several reasons. In my own studies and observations over the years as a leadership coach, here are six that really stand out...
By Marina Khidekel, Head of Content Development at Thrive Global
We all have our own ways of getting our creative juices flowing. While some of us feel inspired after taking a walk in nature, others might get our biggest bursts of inspiration in the shower, or while sitting in total stillness.
We asked our Thrive community to share the specific rituals that spark creativity and inspire their best ideas. Which of these will you try the next time you need a creative boost?
Establish a creative morning ritual
“I start most days with a small creative ritual. Before the rest of the house wakes up, I drink my coffee, grab my art supplies and journal, and proceed to paint, collage, write, and just create something each day. For me, the key is keeping the ritual tied to a well-established habit – my morning drink — and keeping my supplies organized and visible near my kitchen table. I find that on days I take this time, I’m much happier and less stressed.”
—Jill Elliott, founder of The Color Kind, Dallas, TX
'Balance - A Practical Handbook and Workbook for Life's Difficult Moments'
by Suzie Doscher is about change and learning the necessary everyday skills required for life = life skills.
The exercises help you improve the quality of your life, supports you in difficult moments and handle life’s challenging every-day situations better.
It is a practical hands-on self coaching tool.
Read or listen to it when you feel vulnerable, unsure of yourself, or ineffective in difficult and stressful moments.
Learn how to handle your stress effectively with the help of the insights in the book. Bear in mind that there is no balance where there is stress – stress contradicts calmness and happiness. Choose which one you wish to have more of..it is up to you.
The goal of this book is to help you create new opportunities, learn new behaviors, and become the best version of yourself. It is all about practical action oriented insights, steps and behavior change.
Order Your Book Now
Raise your self-awareness with this: