Guest post by Nate Regier for the Seapoint Center
Ask anyone about “conflict” and you’ll most likely hear negative descriptions such as: painful, damaging, draining, upsetting, disrespectful, demeaning and relationship-destroying.
Most people dread conflict and can’t imagine how they could turn conflict into an energy source because they don’t understand what it really is.
Conflict is simply energy – the energy caused by a gap between what you want and what you are experiencing. The energy of conflict can be misused in “drama” or it can be harnessed to create something positive and useful.
The Cost of “Drama”
Drama is created by “struggling against self or others, with or without awareness, in order to feel justified about our negative behavior.”
by Marcel Schwantes
Anger is one powerful human emotion. It is also a very normal human emotion that needs to be expressed in a healthy way. But there's a place and time for appropriate anger, and we all have to learn how to manage it before it escalates.
That takes emotional intelligence -- the ability to exercise self-awareness to understand the situation from multiple angles and self-control to see things through other filters before pulling the anger-trigger.
When anger comes knocking, and it will, we have to know how to deal with it appropriately. If mismanaged, it can take down company morale and sabotage your ability to lead and collaborate well.
Here are six habits of people that manage theirs remarkably well.
1. They put boundaries on people who make them angry.
Having healthy boundaries means you're assertive enough to confront and set limits on a particular
FYI: this is a very long article.
by Benjamin P. Hardy, Author, husband, father
According to the British philosopher, Alain de Botton, “Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.” How different is your life, right now, from where you were 12 months ago? If it’s quite similar, then you haven’t been learning very much.
To learn, by nature, is to change and evolve. In order to change and evolve, you need to regularly create peak experiences — those moments which create deep awe, gratitude, and a shift in how you see yourself and the world. When was your last peak experience? What was the last time you flexed your courage muscles? When was the last time you tried something that might not work?
If you’re ready to make wild progress during 2019, you need to make some tweaks. This isn’t anything to be upset, distraught, or frustrated about. Life is, inherently, a learning experience. Life is beautiful. You get to have fun with it. One thing that is really beautiful about moving forward intensely in your future is that, simultaneously, you change your memory about the past. The past, regardless of what it has been — great or disappointing — will change in meaning as you make new decisions in your future. Your future is flexible. Your past is also flexible. What you have is now. You get to decide what you’re going to do. You get to decide how you’re going to live. Look around… No one is stopping you. Want to make a shift? Here are 30 behaviors to get you started:
1. Wake Up Earlier
“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.” —
by Marcel Schwantes
Nobody likes to fail. Yet failure is the secret to success. If you haven't been rejected a number of times, the current mantra goes, you just haven't experienced success.
Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, swears by this premise. At Virgin, they encourage and even celebrate failure. There's an underlying theme there that, without trying something new and failing, it's virtually impossible to innovate and grow.
Branson says, "Do not be embarrassed by your failures. Learn from them and start again. Making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is part of the DNA of every successful entrepreneur, and I am no exception."
Wherever you are on your career path, it's time to acknowledge that failing is common, no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
But here's the thing. There's one superhuman quality -- a mindset -- every person needs to master on their journey of failing forward. Without it, you may as well toss in the towel now and never try again.
I speak of resilience.
by Suzie Doscher
Feel like you keep facing the same uphill struggle?
Sometimes you create your own problems with your thoughts and beliefs. It is these particular thoughts that hold you back, keep you stuck and consequently limit you. In my coaching practice, as well as my own personal experience, I have witnessed how a self-sabotage routine can be created with these thoughts and beliefs. If you find that you keep coming back to the same type of situation again and again, it is well worth exploring if, in fact, you are running a self-sabotage routine.
To break this self-sabotage cycle, you will need to first determine what this limiting thought or belief is. Once you have figured that out (by yourself, with the help of a friend/boss or qualified coach), consider the information below to help yourself make a lasting change.
The best approach is to replace whatever you are thinking is with a thought that is more positive. For example:
by Dr. Travis Bradberry Author of #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and president of TalentSmart.
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.
As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.
“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.”
- Hans F. Hansen ... read on...
Suzie Doscher, AMC, Executive and Life Coach, Switzerland
Many believe they would need to complete another university degree, more trainings, attend more seminars, spend 5 years is a higher position, or take a sabbatical on an remote island contemplating the state of the universe.
All of the above are most valuable – not necessarily the only answer.
The truth is, you can be more effective, start including your creative mind and gain the confidence to go well beyond your wildest dreams - it might only take a small adjustment to who you are now.
Enhance your emotional intelligence skills - the ‘soft skills’ and unleash your full potential. Your Emotional Intelligence is just as important as your cognitive ability.
I believe everyone is a "High Potential." And that includes you. Given the right support and encouragement, you can transform into a better version of yourself. I have been helping individuals accomplish this transformation for the past +12 years.
My goal is to see you operating at your very highest potential.
Not only intellectually but emotionally as well.
During our coaching conversation you will begin to experience a sense of clarity and focus. Together we will identify the factors that are holding you back. The coaching offers a rich environment that raises your self-awareness.
At all times I work to maintain an environment that is confidential, discreet, I am a neutral outsider, my feedback is open, honest, intuitive, and most importantly -- without judgment.
Do not think for a minute life coaching will not work for you. It is often the one missing ingredient that turns a good performer into an impressive one. Knowing how to handle yourself in all situations is the most valuable skill you can possess in life.
Contact me for your no-obligation first discussion.