Even the most enlightened of us can’t always stop ourselves from worrying about the future and asking ourselves “what if?” Underneath our connection to our Higher Self that we work so hard for, lurks the fear of future problems just waiting for an opening to ask us “what if?”

You know how it is…trouble is brewing at your job, layoffs could be coming. What if you lost your job? There have been a rash of pedestrian traffic accidents lately. What if your child is hit by a car? Your mother’s routine check-up turns into several follow-up appointments. What if she is sick? And on and on.
​
Before we know it, our Chatterboxes have taken over. We are filled with fears about the future and the “what if” questions drag us down to our Lower Self. Many of us “what if” ourselves into a perpetual state of worry.
“What if” questions come from our Lower Self, our inner chatterbox that wants us to live in perpetual fear. Susan wrote in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, “When the ‘what ifs’ are out in full force, the internal Chatterbox is at it again. You look at the unknown and try to predict the future; you try to take control of outside forces. Both are impossible. At this point you might notice you are driving yourself crazy.”

Available in the Amazon Store of your country. In Paperback, on Kindle
​or as an Audiobook narrated by the author. (Audible or iTunes)

These are a sample of options you have when in need of some stress relief:

• Take a break and leave the room. Find a quiet space, even the loo will do.  
• Compose yourself by taking at least 3 breaths. As you exhale, imagine a little bit of the tension leaving your body. (I find visualizing a dark cloud dissipating helpful.)
• Gather your thoughts.  
• Keep your focus on exactly what has been going on that is causing you the stress. Is it the task itself? How about more basic such as hunger or the space around you?
• Does it will involve another person or people… What is missing?  
• Once you know specifically what has thrown you out of balance, think about what can you do now to influence the situation.
• Consider all the steps required to find a solution. Make a list, if only a mental list.  
• What can you do today, right now?  Arrange your list in terms of priority. What has to be done first, then what?  
• Consider the practicalities of your action plan. Is it realistic? Have you the time?  
• Do you need advice or support? If so, whose?  
• Fine-tune the steps you consider necessary to resolve the situation. Keep things realistic to avoid feeling pressure.
• Having thought things through you may find the problem has changed in perspective. Adjust the plan accordingly.

It is most import to ensure that any action you propose to take is in keeping with your personality and can be executed in a style that suits you.
 
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Self-Help Author 

Balance - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments 
3rd editon out now in any Amazon store worldwide 

Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Audible and iTunes.

Photo by Shutterstock

BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments
​is exactly as the title states: A handbook to reach for when life is difficult.

Maybe you are increasingly aware of an issue or behaviour pattern you are willing to change which is activating your curiosity. You are reading this article which shows that on some level there is a curiosity. You might be interested in the topic, or maybe have a colleague or friend who is working on personal development with a coach already recommended you check it out. Remember: It is in fact a strength to reach out, not a weakness.
 
Coaching Scenarios:

• You know ‘something has to change.
• The issue for coaching is fairly straight forward. You already know what you want but are not sure how to start, or are interested in having a neutral non-judgmental outsider for support, encouragement, accountability. Many of my clients come to me to gain clarity.

 
Some thoughts to consider: 

You are:

• Aware that talking about it with your friends, family or colleagues is not changing anything.
• Ready to stop talking about the issue with friends, family or colleagues about the same topic – equally they are tired of hearing about it.
• Understand that looking for advice from colleagues and friends is not enough.
• Curious to look inside yourself for some answers.
• Step outside of what you know, into the unknown – outside your comfort zone – outside your box, to find a new way to handle the issue.

 
The next steps: 

• Narrow down what will work best for you: language, in person meetings or online sessions, location, cost, length of sessions, how many sessions does the coach recommend.
• Research the local market on Google, ask friends & colleagues if they know anybody
• Read the testimonials / recommendations to get a feel for the coach and their strengths
• Which websites / coaches appeal to you, 'speak your language'
• Does this align with the issue you are looking to move away from?
• Get in touch with one or more, talk to them, see where the chemistry fits best.
• Make your choice
• Remember: “Actions speak louder than words”.

 
 It is important to know the difference between all the various approaches to change, see my article  Coaching vs. Trainings / Consulting / Mentoring / Traditional Therapies  for more information.
 
Suzie Doscher(PMC), a Professional Master Coach (IAPCM) Coach focusing on Personal Development. 
Check out Suzie's books full of SELF COACHING Exercises - 'Balance by Suzie Doscher' available in any Amazon store worldwide.
Please also visit: www.suziedoscher.com for more info about coaching.

by Suzie Doscher
Photo credit: Shutterstock

These are a sample of options you have when in need of some stress relief:
​

• Take a break and leave the room. Find a quiet space, even the loo will do.  
• Compose yourself by taking at least 3 breaths. As you exhale, imagine a little bit of the tension leaving your body. (I find visualizing a dark cloud dissipating helpful.)
• Gather your thoughts.  
• Keep your focus on exactly what has been going on that is causing you the stress. Is it the task itself? How about more basic such as hunger or the space around you?
• Does it will involve another person or people… What is missing?  
• Once you know specifically what has thrown you out of balance, think about what can you do now to influence the situation.
• Consider all the steps required to find a solution. Make a list, if only a mental list.  
• What can you do today, right now?  Arrange your list in terms of priority. What has to be done first, then what?  
• Consider the practicalities of your action plan. Is it realistic? Have you the time?  
• Do you need advice or support? If so, whose?  
• Fine-tune the steps you consider necessary to resolve the situation. Keep things realistic to avoid feeling pressure.
• Having thought things through you may find the problem has changed in perspective. Adjust the plan accordingly.

It is most import to ensure that any action you propose to take is in keeping with your personality and can be executed in a style that suits you.
 
 
by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Self-Help Author
​

1. The Present  

Eckhart Tolle refers to living in the now, which means being able to see and feel what your life is in the present moment.
The present-day buzzword for this is to be mindful by practicing mindfulness.
Standing in a beautiful park, by a calming body of water, or attending your child’s school play or other family event, and actually seeing the trees, feeling the flow and energy of the water, enjoying the play or event while feeling joy instead of being lost in your thoughts (which are taking you elsewhere) is experiencing the now, the present moment, being mindful of that very moment.
 
Thoughts can propel you into an entirely different location even if you are not there physically. It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. 
 
When you are able to live in the day life becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You empower yourself by influencing what you can influence. 
This becomes a powerful technique to step out of stress.
This is not to say you should never think of the future and plan to reach your goals and avoid pitfalls. 
It is more about how this is done. Keep your energy where it is needed - in the day.

Examine your present-day reality and determine what is working and what is not working.
Explore what you can influence and what not.

by Suzie Doscher

Feel like you keep facing the same uphill struggle? 

Sometimes you create your own problems with your thoughts and beliefs. It is these particular thoughts that hold you back, keep you stuck and consequently limit you. In my coaching practice, as well as my own personal experience, I have witnessed how a self-sabotage routine can be created with these thoughts and beliefs. If you find that you keep coming back to the same type of situation again and again, it is well worth exploring if, in fact, you are running a self-sabotage routine.
 
To break this self-sabotage cycle, you will need to first determine what this limiting thought or belief is. Once you have figured that out (by yourself, with the help of a friend/boss or qualified coach), consider the information below to help yourself make a lasting change. 
 
The best approach is to replace whatever you are thinking is with a thought that is more positive. For example: 

• "I am not sure how to..." can turn into, "I will find the time to work out how to do this."
• "I do not have the time," turns into, "If I had the time, this is what I would do."

By Angela Duckworth, CEO and Co-Founder of Character Lab, UPenn Professor of Psychology at Character Lab

How are you feeling?"
Uncle Marvin wanted to know.

Marc Brackett, now the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, was 12 years old. It was one of the first times in his life that someone had asked him this question sincerely and seemed open to an answer other than “Fine, thanks.”
In fact, Marc was anything but fine. And because Uncle Marvin’s question gave him permission, he told the truth: “I have no real friends… I suck at sports… I’m fat, and the kids at school all hate me.”
Around other adults — including his own parents — Marc felt unseen. But Uncle Marvin was different.

By Leo Babauta, Creator of Zen Habits. Vegan, dad, husband.

For the last dozen years, I’ve been living a (relatively) simple life. At times, the complexity of my life grows, and I renew my commitment to living simply.
Living a simple life is about paring back, so that you have space to breathe. It’s about doing more with less, because you realize that having more and doing more doesn’t lead to happiness. It’s about finding joys in the simple things, and being content with solitude, quiet, contemplation and savoring the moment.
I’ve learned some key lessons for living a simple life, and I thought I’d share a few with you.​ ...

Dr. Travis Bradberry

When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.
Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.

“No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.” – Jack Welch 

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

Guest post by Nate Regier for the Seapoint Center

Ask anyone about “conflict” and you’ll most likely hear negative descriptions such as: painful, damaging, draining, upsetting, disrespectful, demeaning and relationship-destroying.
Most people dread conflict and can’t imagine how they could turn conflict into an energy source because they don’t understand what it really is.
Conflict is simply energy – the energy caused by a gap between what you want and what you are experiencing. The energy of conflict can be misused in “drama” or it can be harnessed to create something positive and useful.
The Cost of “Drama”

Drama is created by “struggling against self or others, with or without awareness, in order to feel justified about our negative behavior.” 

Suzie Doscher, AMC, Executive and Life Coach, Switzerland
 
Many believe they would need to complete another university degree, more trainings, attend more seminars, spend 5 years is a higher position, or take a  sabbatical on an remote island contemplating the state of the universe.
All of the above are most valuable – not necessarily the only answer. 
 
The truth is, you can be more effective, start including your creative mind and gain the confidence to go well beyond your wildest dreams - it might only take a small adjustment to who you are now.
Enhance your emotional intelligence skills - the ‘soft skills’ and unleash your full potential. Your Emotional Intelligence is just as important as your cognitive ability. 
​I believe everyone is a "High Potential." And that includes you. Given the right support and encouragement, you can transform into a better version of yourself. I have been helping individuals accomplish this transformation for the past +12 years.
 
My goal is to see you operating at your very highest potential. 
Not only intellectually but emotionally as well.
 
During our coaching conversation you will begin to experience a sense of clarity and focus. Together we will identify the factors that are holding you back. The coaching offers a rich environment that raises your self-awareness.

At all times I work to maintain an environment that is confidential, discreet, I am a neutral outsider, my feedback is open, honest, intuitive, and most importantly -- without judgment.

Do not think for a minute life coaching will not work for you. It is often the one missing ingredient that turns a good performer into an impressive one. Knowing how to handle yourself in all situations is the most valuable skill you can possess in life.

In my experience over all well-being and emotional intelligence are linked, it is hard to have one without the other. It is good to know the skills required to grow emotionally can be developed.  
The ability to, not only access your intuition - that gut feeling or inner voice - but also to respect what it is telling you is one of these skills. 
Learning to reshape long-established stifling patterns of behavior allows you to embrace the challenges of life more easily. Part of this is feeling intuitively what is right in a given situation.  
 
You will not gain anything from coaching if you are comfortable remaining passive with respect to difficult situations. Instead of this, be guided, encouraged, supported and motivated in developing your own possibilities to take action.
 
When you step on the path of personal development bear in mind: 

by Suzie Doscher 
There are wonderful books, classes, films, talks, workshops, DVDs, magazine articles, conversations, coaches, and therapists teaching the importance of being in the moment, staying in the now and going with the flow. But how do you really do this?

It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. The fact remains that most people do not live in the present moment and have to learn how to do so.
 
Reasons to master living in the moment:

• You receive instant relief from stress
• You are able to manage fears better
• You become calmer. A sense of calmness enters if you stop to take a few breaths. Focusing on your breathing returns your mind to the present moment, away from your thoughts.
• You feel stronger and some of your personal power returns. You feel stronger because you took charge of the moment. This offers the feeling of having influence and consequently strength.

 
Steps to practice being in the moment:​

by Suzie Doscher

Emotional Intelligence can be defined as having: 

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Motivation

• Empathy
• Social Skills
  
  

I like to think in terms of feeling a sense of power - Personal Power means you have the soft skills that make up Emotional Intelligence.

I believe your Personal Power is intact when you:

by Bill Gentry, Director, Leadership Insights & Analytics and Senior Research Scientist

A professional getting promoted into his or her first formal leadership position in an organization is one of the biggest and most difficult transitions for any leader.
Far too often, the leader and the organization take for granted just how difficult that transition is.
The numbers prove it: No wonder 50% of managers in organizations are ineffective.

Their ineffectiveness may be the result of not realizing what they are getting themselves into when it comes to leading others, not being supported in their new leadership role, and not being given the opportunity for training and development early enough in their careers as leaders.
Think of the time and money that has to be spent on replacing these ineffective leaders—not to mention dealing with the low morale and disengagement of employees working under these ineffective leaders.