Making Assumptions

An assumption is a thought or conclusion drawn when someone says or does something. It is a reaction.  You do not have the full picture or asked any questions yet to be able to make an informed decision.  Conclusions are often based on assumptions which could be incorrect. They are not backed up by fact yet treated as the truth. 
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Assumptions have the potential to confuse a situation, and everyone involved. For example, silence or nodding does not always mean the person agrees. They could be simply acknowledging they heard you.  They might not agree yet in that moment are not ready to comment. 
You cannot  know if what you are assuming is the truth unless you ask questions to get more information and clarification. Listen carefully and ask questions if you are not sure or need further information to form an opinion.
 
The brain is wired to keep you safe and fulfill your core needs such as nutrition, shelter, community, pleasure, reproduction, and emotional expression. This establishes an idea of where you are, who and what is around you, and where you might encounter danger. Also known as the ‘fight or flight mode’ which is essential in times of danger - it keeps you at the first level of awareness.

At times however you react to protect your emotions from pain as if you are needing to protect yourself physically from danger. The anxiety and physiological response are the same despite the situation being an emotional one. The mind is simply looking for information to complete the picture and return to a place of emotional safety. Assumptions satisfy your questioning mind but do not leave you with the full picture.

Once you are aware that you are making assumptions it is possible to change the behavior. 
 
To train your brain to stop making assumptions:

• Pay attention to when you are making assumptions. Start to recognize that they are assumptions. With this you are raising your awareness to your patterns, getting to know yourself better.
• Ask yourself if what you are assuming is actually based on facts? 
• Help clarify your understanding by rephrasing what was said in your own words.
• What questions do you need to ask to get more clarity?
• Express the fact that you have questions, ask if it is good time to ask them.

 
 
Benefits of not making assumptions:

• More effective interpersonal relationships.
• More effective communication style.
• Clarity - fewer grey areas.
• More peace of mind.
• Less mind chatter.
• Confidence to know you can handle the kind of situation that so far has left you making assumptions.
• The feeling of being more balanced.
  
  

As with all changes to behavior patterns it takes practice and repetition. Remember to be patient and flexible as well as kind to yourself. 


 By Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach focusing on Personal Development, Self-help Author
Photocredit: Unsplash