Energy Vampires - People That Drain You or Feel Toxic

by Suzie Doscher - Professional Executive and Life Coach

People who are exhausting to be around because they drain your energy are energy vampires.
They seem to be part of everyone’s life, be this in your personal life or with colleagues at work.
Sometimes, even the cashier in the supermarket can drain your energy! It feels as though someone is turning down your volume or dimming your light switch.

At times you do not even notice this straight away. You simply begin noticing something is not quite right or certainly not the way you felt five minutes ago. It is possible to realise this only when you are no longer in their company.

Sadly, an energy vampire is often not even aware of their bad habit.
Negative people seem to have a need to find more negativity. If you are not in a similar frame of mind, i.e. you are in a good mood, they start draining you and can be quite unaware of what they are doing. The result usually is you feel down, unhappy, drained, and exhausted. In the worst-case scenario you might even find yourself getting a headache.

Tips to help you deal with the situation:

• Most importantly, learn to recognise what is going on when you start feeling drained. With whom are you and in which environment are you?
• An energy vampire will show any number of traits: constant complaining, not being able to take responsibility for their actions, refusing to see the consequences of their choices, argumentative, histrionic behaviour, attention-seeking with their negativity, seeing the glass as always half empty, and so on.
• Know it is reasonable to set a boundary and walk away if possible Realise walking away is a way of showing yourself respect.
• Excuse yourself politely. A reason can be found, even if it is “to use the bathroom”.
• Once you have walked away, take a couple of deep breaths or get some fresh air.
• Allow yourself the truth that you do not have to stay in the company of such a person. You can make a better choice, one that takes care of you.
  
  

If you are in a situation in which you cannot avoid the company of draining people, for example if he or she is a member of your family, or you work with them, this is the time to try out how wellvyou set boundaries. 
Practice saying “no”. The more you do this, the easier it becomes.
​A very wise friend once told me, “Remember, you can walk out of the room, but they are still in the room with themselves.”

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