If you’re stuck tossing and turning once your head hits the pillow, these tips can help.

There are few things more frustrating than getting in bed after a long, tiring day only to realize your brain isn’t ready for sleep. You know those nights: Despite how exhausted you feel, your mind is off ruminating on tomorrow’s to-do list, your uncertainties about the pandemic, or whatever other worries are real for you in that moment. While you’re in the heat of tossing and turning, sleep can feel like a hopeless reality — but fortunately, that’s rarely the case. There are plenty of in-the-moment strategies that can help us kick our worries out the door so we can get the rest we need and deserve. 
We asked our Thrive community to share their go-to strategies that help them fall asleep when they’re stuck tossing and turning. Which of these tips will you turn to the next time you can’t sleep?

by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coach for Personal Development, Self-Help Author

How can companies best support their employees during these difficult and challenging covid related times?.
Working from home has added some extra issues to deal with.
​
Individuals benefit from support dealing with:

• Time Management
• Focus
• Motivation
• Communication style
• Creating ways to take time out for self-care such as eating well, exercising, short walks to get some fresh air, rest and recreation etc.
• and more...

• Personal development allows you to 'grow into your skin' and become the best version of yourself so you can handle difficult moments with greater ease.
• Personal Development and Coaching are essential for success in the workplace as well in your private life.
• With a healthy set of soft skills, life becomes easier and more balanced.
• You are not alone, we work as a team.
• Imagine being in an environment you know is confidential, discreet, trusted and safe. 
• You will be able to voice your thoughts and find solutions for problems that are realistic. 

(Coaching is not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care or substance abuse treatment)

Available in Paperback, on Kindle or as an Audiobook (Audible or iTunes)

By Charlotte Wiseman, Wellbeing and Leadership Consultant & Trainer MAPPCP at Charlotte Wiseman Consultants

Recent challenges have triggered much interest in the “epidemic” of employee burnout. Articles and podcasts highlight that 76% of employees will experience burnout at some point in time, offering leaders tips to support their team’s well-being and prevent such ends. However, as is too often the case, such studies fail to address that leaders, too, have limited resources. In fact, the last study into leadership burnout indicated that 96% of leaders will experience burnout at some point in their career. In the light of the unpredictable and unprecedented months ahead, burnout in leaders is as a risk that needs to be addressed. 
I have spent the last six months speaking to CEOs who have experienced a crisis of well-being, asking them for their advice for fellow leaders.

​Here are their top tips:....

By Carol Tuttle

Overwhelmed, scattered, totally worn out. Does that ever sound like you?
Even though you’re committed to work-life balance, sometimes equilibrium isn’t as easy to find as you’d like.
Most advice suggests that you set boundaries, manage time better, and practice self-care. Yes, those are important. But if you’re juggling a hundred balls, you need an overall strategy to calm things down — not just tactics that give you more to do.
Consider the possibility that you can have work-life balance with a simpler (and even counterintuitive) approach.
Where your balance (and imbalance) actually comes fromIt’s easy to look at your emails, phone calls, meetings, and to-do’s and believe that they are the problem. Everything coming at you is just too much!

by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Zurich, Switzerland

In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behavior of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
 
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that he or she does not understand how their behavior and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behavior comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of the need to be controlling.
 
The attempts to control a situation or environment are intended to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This is a sign of low self-esteem.
 
One of the areas they often manipulate is conversation. A control freak is most comfortable if he or she decides what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can be. This manipulation is achieved by constant interruption, finishing the sentence for the person, not listening with attention, doing distracting things like getting up and walking around, or even walking out of the room saying, “I am still listening.” A control freak does not consider that he or she is being controlling, but is convinced his or her way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that he or she does not instigate.
 
Controllers also control themselves; you might observe obsessive habits in them – whether in a private relationship or at work. 
 
Here are helpful tips to consider when dealing with a micro-manager:

• If someone dominates conversations, allow him or her to finish. Then, in a calm manner say, “I understand what you are saying and now I would like to express my thoughts.”
• If someone continually gives you his or her advice by telling you exactly what you should be doing, again, in a calm manner say, “I value your advice, but I wish to consider my own thoughts on this matter as well.”
• Your goal for establishing a healthier communication pattern with a control freak is to eventually “agree to disagree.” 
• Be as consistent as possible with the style in which you communicate. It will require patience and time, butitcan result in turning the negative communication pattern into one that is more acceptable to you.
• Express yourself assertively without giving the person the feeling that you are telling him or her what to do. Never try to control a controller.
• Remain calm and be consistent with controllers. Getting angry does not achieve anything. Control freaks have no problem with arguments. In fact, they seek power struggles. Remember, in their minds the world should feel, think, and do what they deem is right.
• You can walk out of the room into a better space; they, however, are left with their issues, unless they seek support.

 
A control freak has the ability to bring you down a couple of notches and take the wind out of your sails. They can make people feel insecure. You may want to distance yourself if it is possible. If not,because the person is a member of your family or work colleague or boss, then consider what choices you do have based on the points raised above. 
Raising your awareness to the fact that the person is micro-managing frequently already helps to make the situation easier to handle.
 
The benefits of establishing a manner of communication where you do not allow the control freak to rob you of your energy or drown you with negativity is that you become stronger, more assertive, and empowered. 

In summary, here are helpful steps for handling the moment:

1. Acknowledge that you are in conversation with a control freak.
2. Whenever possible,buy yourself some time by taking a couple of deep breaths after excusing yourself for a minute. If you can leave the situation for longer, take a walk around the block to clear your head. Remind yourself that you are dealing with a control freak.
3. Accept that you are not going to be able to change how the person behaves or who he or she is. Maintain the focus on your reactions and communication style.
4. Remind yourself that you do not know what makes the control freak behave this way, so try not to judge them.
5. In conversations, listen without interrupting. Be calm and patient.
6. Express your own opinion/thoughts. Be assertive, but not aggressive.
7. Once the conversation is over, do something that will nourish you. This might be as simple as taking in a couple of deep breaths and exhaling the negative energy the control freak brings along.
8. Accept that you handled the situation as best as can be expected and that it will take time and practice not to feel affected by a control freak/micro-manager’s behavior style.

 
Being in the company of control freaks can feel like being with Energy Vampires.
Their ability to endlessly bring the attention backonto themselves is draining and exhausting. Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time. 

The BALANCE Handbook helps you with difficult moments
This book is about change and finding balance in life.
Read it when you feel vulnerable and unsure of yourself.
 
This book will help you find new opportunities, learn new behaviors and life skills to become the best version of yourself. 

Handle everyday problems more effectively and improve the quality of your life and the life of those around you.
​
Take the time to invest in yourself before you find yourself off balance. Strengthen your weaknesses before they rule your life.

This 2nd Edition Handbook now includes the Interactive Workbook for Self-Coaching.  With the journaling in the Workbook you explore your goals, where you stand now and the issues from the past holding you back.
​
Order your book  today and start bringing more balance into your life.

in Paperback, Kindle, audiobook
or Audiobook alone Audible and iTunes

by Maura Thomas

​Around 11 p.m. one night, you realize there’s a key step your team needs to take on a current project. So, you dash off an email to the team members while you’re thinking about it.
No time like the present, right?
Wrong. As a productivity trainer specializing in attention management, I’ve seen over the past decade how after-hours emails speed up corporate cultures — and that, in turn, chips away at creativity, innovation, and true productivity.

If this is a common behavior for you, you’re missing the opportunity to get some distance from work — distance that’s critical to the fresh perspective you need as the leader. And, when the boss is working, the team feels like they should be working.

Think about the message you’d like to send. Do you intend for your staff to reply to you immediately? 

by Suzie Doscher 
There are wonderful books, classes, films, talks, workshops, DVDs, magazine articles, conversations, coaches, and therapists teaching the importance of being in the moment, staying in the now and going with the flow. But how do you really do this?

It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. The fact remains that most people do not live in the present moment and have to learn how to do so.
 
Reasons to master living in the moment:

• You receive instant relief from stress
• You are able to manage fears better
• You become calmer. A sense of calmness enters if you stop to take a few breaths. Focusing on your breathing returns your mind to the present moment, away from your thoughts.
• You feel stronger and some of your personal power returns. You feel stronger because you took charge of the moment. This offers the feeling of having influence and consequently strength.

 
Steps to practice being in the moment:​

By Monica Torres 
​
No good employer is going to outright say that they kill you, but new research finds that too many modern workplaces are grim reapers inflicting a fatal amount of stress on our bodies and minds.
Jeffrey Pfeffer, a professor of organizational behavior at Stanford, is ringing the alarm that job stress and poor management is killing us — accounting for up to 8% of annual health costs and leading to 120,000 excess deaths every year in the United States.
In his new book, “Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance — and What We Can Do About It,” he explains how long hours, a lack of job autonomy through micromanagement, and unstable health insurance are making us sick to death.
He talked with Ladders about his research and what leads otherwise reasonable people to stay in toxic jobs:

by Suzie Doscher

Emotional Intelligence can be defined as having: 

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Motivation

• Empathy
• Social Skills
  
  

I like to think in terms of feeling a sense of power - Personal Power means you have the soft skills that make up Emotional Intelligence.

I believe your Personal Power is intact when you:

by Bill Gentry, Director, Leadership Insights & Analytics and Senior Research Scientist

A professional getting promoted into his or her first formal leadership position in an organization is one of the biggest and most difficult transitions for any leader.
Far too often, the leader and the organization take for granted just how difficult that transition is.
The numbers prove it: No wonder 50% of managers in organizations are ineffective.

Their ineffectiveness may be the result of not realizing what they are getting themselves into when it comes to leading others, not being supported in their new leadership role, and not being given the opportunity for training and development early enough in their careers as leaders.
Think of the time and money that has to be spent on replacing these ineffective leaders—not to mention dealing with the low morale and disengagement of employees working under these ineffective leaders. 

by Suzie Doscher
 
In the past it was always  'there is life, and then there is work'.
Somehow in recent decades it seems they can be so intertwined that you ‘live to work’ rather than the other way around and ‘work to have a life’.
The term ‘Work-Life Balance’ seems to be all over the place now and usually closely related to preventing 'Burnout’.  As a professional coach focusing on personal development I have been lucky to work with many Millennials. (Apparently these younger generations X & Y, are now all mixed together and make up ‘Generation Stress’!)

What I have learned from these young, motivated and focused young individuals is:
Not only is it important to them to achieve their goals yet work/life balance HAS to be in the mix. A good life means quality of life both at home and at work. This is what they strive for and frequently the goal in our coaching.

Work-Life Balance An Essential Ingredient to Success
My younger clients are inspiring and fun to work with. I value being by their side supporting and witnessing their growth as they strive to reach professional goals and enjoy their life at the same time.
 

By Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coaching in Switzerland

Instead of focusing on classic New Year's Resolutions:

• Exercise more, or start to exercise
• Lose Weight
• Stop smoking, drink less alcohol, drink more water
• Get organized
• Find more time for family and yourself, etc.

 
How about looking at 2018 as being the year of moving forward and making the kind of changes that stick forever?
 
Change your thinking in order to invest your time and energy to grow and develop yourself. Have a major impact on your home life as well as your professional life, no matter what your position: boss, leader or team member with some personal development.
 
Many of your desired 'resolutions' will be resolved with this approach. 
In fact, with time all of the habits you wish to change will be replaced with habits that leave you calm, satisfied, fulfilled, stimulated, energized and healthy. You will feel better, look better and be a better person. You can 'grow into your skin' - be the person you know you are. ...Click 'read more'

Good advice from Laura Berman Fortgang

I have no tax advice for you. Nothing you should do to your lawn before the next season hits. Nor do I have anything to say about your frequent flier miles or doctor visits and insurance deductibles.
I DO however, have three must-do’s that will help you walk into a new year with more energy, peace, and hope.

REPAIR a Relationship
Nobody is perfect. Maybe there is someone you are on the outs with or someone who is holding a grudge against you. There is no better time than the present to address it. Think of the possibilities of a new year without the stress or aggravation of this energy drain.
Perhaps there is such a relationship, but a heart to heart is just not possible. In that case, forgiveness is the only option. Whether you can speak to the person about it or not, work on forgiving what they did to you. If they are mad about something you did, forgive them for withholding their friendship, love, or approval of you.
People behave within the limits of their own growth and experience. Forgive and move on.
Do it for yourself, not for them.
Click 'Read More' to find out what the other two are..