​Self Sabotage

Everybody has an inner saboteur’; the ‘inner critic’. Think of the times when you have asked yourself “Why did I do that?” I like to think of self-sabotage as ‘a virus in the software. Shutterstock

by Suzie Doscher
 
This is a big topic and unique to each person depending on what exactly your self-sabotage routine is and how it shows up. Have you ever wondered just how much you hold yourself back and / or limit yourself with self-sabotaging behaviour patterns? 
Self-sabotage can be described as running interference on yourself. I suggest ‘awareness’ is the first and most important step towards dealing with it – the awareness of this patterns existence. Everybody has an inner saboteur’; the ‘inner critic’. Think of the times when you have asked yourself “Why did I do that?” I like to think of self-sabotage as ‘a virus in the software,’ The job is to get rid of it and run a new program. Healthy routines are those that move your life forward, such as maintaining some kind of equilibrium, maintaining your physical and mental health. 
 
A routine becomes sabotage when it keeps you stuck in the same place, treading water, not moving forward. What started these self-sabotage routines and where they come from is well researched in psychology.

There are countless bad habits and routines but the most common are: 

• Procrastination
• Negative self-feedback or mind chatter
• Self-medication with drugs, alcohol or food - you might enjoy the momentary pleasure but in truth you are giving your power over to a routine that is not healthy
• Keeping your schedule full, while neglecting or not scheduling valuable down time.

Focus on recognising and accepting the self-sabotage routines you may have and how they affect your behaviour and the quality of your daily life. At this point I suggest there is no need to figure out where the inner saboteur comes from. Instead, I suggest observing yourself and becoming aware of the routines you have in place that keep you going around in circles.
 
Shedding self-sabotage is about no longer being your own worst enemy.
Observe yourself and become aware of what and how you handle and react to certain situations - raise your awareness to your behaviour. You can make mental notes, or an actual list of your observations.
The next step is to find ‘a new program to run’. You can do this with the help and support of a professional coach or begin by learning more about limiting beliefs and facing fears. For the moment the best first step is recognizing a self-sabotaging pattern when it is in action, or after it happened.


Page 78: BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments