‘Just Think Positive’ – Why Those Three Words Make Me Crazy!

Transform how you look at things

​by Suzie Doscher

The reason I feel this way is my opinion that in order to think positive, a positive mindset is necessary. Naturally even positive thinkers can have moments of drifting off into negative thoughts. Their strength is to return to a more positive approach rather than go the place of doom and gloom of a negative thinker.
 
To ‘Just think positive’ it is necessary to have a positive mindset.
 
When you are struggling to stay positive about something, you are probably feeling stressed. This might be the result of feeling uncertain or lacking clarity about the situation, person or project, or any number of other reasons. So when I hear that the advice given by a helpful, supportive friend or colleague is “Just think positive”, I am so tempted to ask: “And exactly how do you suggest your friend or colleague does this while feeling stressed?” ... Click 'Read More' below

​Of course changing your mindset or perspective from negative to positive is brilliant advice. It is the expectation that this happens in a flash that makes me crazy. It is not as if you can flick a switch in your mind.
 
Based on research in the field of neuroscience, stress activates a stress response in the body. One of these responses is cognitive resources are depleted. It is a fact that when emotions of stress kick in cognitive resources are first to be disrupted. Emotions overpower thinking in that moment. Without creating a safer, calmer environment your thinking will stay limited.
 
Switch to feeling and being able to think more positive by initially breaking the energy of that very moment.
 
The fastest way to take charge of stress i.e. negative thoughts is by involving your senses: take a walk, listen to music, be creative, cook something, bake a cake … do anything that you find soothing that will distract you from your thoughts right now. As my mother always told us, “Busy hands are happy hands”. If you are at work, allow yourself a short break away from your desk, take a couple of deep breaths, and interrupt the mood - if only momentarily, get something to drink or any other short break away you can consider. Then return to the situation and take another look at it.
 
This rule applies to life at work, as well as your personal life.
 
Helpful guidance tips on the type of question you can ask yourself to feel more positive:

• What is good about the situation / my life / this person / the project?
• What actually is working / good about this? I.e. what is positive?

 
Once you are aware of these points, move on to:

• What exactly is making me feel negative? Be specific with your answers. For example “this situation lacks clarity or does not agree with my values”; “it is the lack of direction in my life”; “the way this person speaks to me is insulting”; or “this project is badly managed”.
• What might I be assuming? For example, “I am assuming that I will not find clarity”, “I am assuming I do not know how to find the answers”, “I am assuming that I will not be able to ask them to show some respect”, or “I am assuming I cannot influence how this project is managed”.
• How can you influence those thoughts or the situation? How else can you look at this?
• Never underestimate how talking about it out loud can help, so,
• Who can be supportive right now? Who could I talk to?
• When you feel you are thinking clearly again, explore what can be influenced now in this very moment?
• If there is an action you can take, follow through with that.

 
Sometimes accepting that you cannot do anything to change the situation is the most helpful step. To me this falls under the heading “You cannot change people, but you can change how you react”. In other words “acceptance” is the most empowering step you can take right now.
This is a skill, a life skill, well worth acquiring. It will help you feel stronger, more secure and raise your self-esteem. Practice this approach over and over; soon you will know that you are thinking more positive because you know you can turn things around.

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