Energy Vampires - Does It Feel You Someone is Draining Your Energy?

Are you wondering why you feel so drained in the presence of particular people?

by Suzie Doscher 

People who drain your energy seem to be part of life. 
It feels as though your energy or light is being emptied out. At times you do not even notice this straight away. You simply begin noticing something is not quite right or certainly not the way you felt five minutes ago.

Enter the energy vampire.
Sadly, an energy vampire is often not even aware of this bad habit. It can be learned behaviour or a learned pattern while growing up. Negative energy can come from any number of experiences including the feeling of fear, hopelessness, shame frustration or anger to name a few.
In contrast, positive energy includes compassion, courage, forgiveness, and faith.

Negative people seem to have a need to create more negativity.
If you are not in a similar frame of mind, i.e. you are in a good mood, they start draining you and can be quite unaware of what they are doing. The result usually is you feel down, unhappy, drained, and exhausted. You even might find yourself getting a headache.
 
Tips to help you deal with the situation: .... click 'Read More' below

• Most importantly, learn to recognize what is going on when you start feeling drained.
  
  

A negative person will show any number of these traits:

• constant complaining,
• not being able to take responsibility for their actions,
• refusing to see the consequences of their choices,
• argumentative behaviour,
• attention seeking with their negativity,
• seeing the glass as always half empty,
• ​etc.
  
  

When in the company of an energy vampire, know it is reasonable to walk away. 

• Realize this is a way of showing yourself respect, rather  staying in their presence and feeling more and more drained.
• You can excuse yourself politely. A reason can be found, even if it is “to use the bathroom”. If you can only stay away for a few moments it is better than nothing.
• Once you have walked away, take a couple of deep breaths or get some fresh air. Do whatever it takes to 'break the energy'. 
• 'Re-calibrate' and start afresh from that moment on. 
  ​

If you are in a situation where you cannot avoid being there, for example it is one of your friends or family members that drains you, or you work with them, this is the time to start setting boundaries. The more you do this, the easier it becomes.

A wise friend told me once, “Remember, you can walk out of the room, but they are still in the room with themselves.” This made an impression on me and I used this as a visualization when I was walking out of the room! The image always made me smile (even when I was angry). A smile is a wonderful way to break the energy  that very moment.

Learn How to Set Boundaries

A fabulous Life Skill = Setting Boundaries

If you set a boundary by  saying 'no' to someone else's behaviour or your own, then to what are you saying 'yes'?
The answer to that question is: to you. You are choosing yourself as the priority - that is the bottom line of learning how to set a boundary.
In the case of being around a person who drains you with their negativity the choice you have is to continue listening to them, bring the topic to an end or if possible leave.
By no stretch of the imagination does this mean you will be disrespecting others. It means you respect yourself first and hold.........

These are the most common reasons people say 'yes' when in fact 'no' might serve better:
Which ones apply in your case?

• Finding it hard not to help
• Fearful of seeming bad mannered
• Fear of losing out
• Fear of being ‘difficult’
• Fear of not being ‘reliable’
• Fear of hurting someone’s feelings

Ask the following questions to motivate yourself:

What can you gain from saying “no”? For example, saying “no” to an offer to go out because
what you really need is time at home for yourself. By saying “no”, you are giving yourself
that time.
How about saying “not now”, if this is not the right time, or situation, for you to say “no”?
Find the situation where you will feel the least resistance to start practicing this. I started by saying
“I will get back to you and let you know if and when I can.” This way I bought myself some
time to consider exactly how important the person and/or request was and what I could lose or
gain by saying either “no” or “not now”.
Allow yourself time and patience to make this change and remember always to give yourself
a pat on the back when you make yourself the priority.
It is important to handle this change with good manners, grace and respect. Learning to say “no”
does not mean you can be rude and disrespectful. Learning how to say “no” might mean you gain
some respect from your friends and/or family and in your work environment, yet telling your boss
“no” might be the wrong choice. On that front, considering the day only has 24 hours, what else
could you say “no” to in order to accommodate your boss’s request? In the end it is all about maintaining
a healthy balance for the 24 hours per day.

Life is too short to keep people who drain you in your life. I used to have a strategy that was: 'I allow someone to moan and groan about the same issue without attempting to make a change for 2 years'. During those 2 years I would reduce the amount of time I spend with them. The friendship either fizzled out or I was lucky to witness the person making changes.

Suzie Doscher

Book Your Coaching Session