By Ken Wert
 
“When I am happy, I see the happiness in others. When I am depressed, I notice that people’s eyes look sad. When I am weary, I see the world as boring and unattractive.” ~ Steve Chandler
 
Happiness is not a quality easily had by those who fear challenge and difficulty. Happiness, as a matter of fact, can require quite a bit from us if we would develop those traits that produce it at its highest potential.
 
In other words, happiness is not for the squeamish. It requires us to get our hands dirty in the ditches and mountain sides of life. It requires us to climb and learn and overcome and develop in ways that are not always easy. Here are four reasons happiness is not for wimps:

by Suzie Doscher 
There are wonderful books, classes, films, talks, workshops, DVDs, magazine articles, conversations, coaches, and therapists teaching the importance of being in the moment, staying in the now and going with the flow. But how do you really do this?

It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. The fact remains that most people do not live in the present moment and have to learn how to do so.
 
Reasons to master living in the moment:

• You receive instant relief from stress
• You are able to manage fears better
• You become calmer. A sense of calmness enters if you stop to take a few breaths. Focusing on your breathing returns your mind to the present moment, away from your thoughts.
• You feel stronger and some of your personal power returns. You feel stronger because you took charge of the moment. This offers the feeling of having influence and consequently strength.

 
Steps to practice being in the moment:​

BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

​Ever have to psych yourself up to go to work? If that’s the case more often than not, your job might not align with your personal motives, says Carter Cast, author of The Right (and Wrong) Stuff: How Brilliant Careers are Made and Unmade.
Strengths are your natural skillsets, and motives are the place from which you draw energy, says Cast. They differ from values, which are what’s important to you. “If you ask someone what their values are, they can rattle them off quickly,” he says. “Motives are much harder to identify because we’re often not conscious of them. They’re the river that flows under us.”
A mismatch in job and motives will wear you down and eventually cause you to fail to live up to your potential, says Cast. “Currently, the assumption is that if you took this job, it’s the right job for you,” says Cast. “But people who are smart, don’t have a skill gap, and are good interpersonally will underperform if they don’t have energy for position.”

by Thomas Oppong

You are most productive in the morning, according to research.
Your best work happens within a short time span of the day. And you should be making the most of it.

• Your morning should be spent on outputs, not inputs.

• Do your best work in the morning whilst your brain and body can deliver the best results.
• It pays to protect your morning.
• Wake up early and be productive with that time.

Don’t spend it on distractions. Don’t even think about scheduling a meeting at a time when you are most focused, efficient and mentally alert to do deep work.
Instead of letting others dictate your priorities, give yourself at least an hour to focus without external distractions.

“People who get up early in the morning are hitting it out of the park, doing things we struggle with at other times of the day,” 

by Suzie Doscher

Emotional Intelligence can be defined as having: 

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Motivation

• Empathy
• Social Skills
  
  

I like to think in terms of feeling a sense of power - Personal Power means you have the soft skills that make up Emotional Intelligence.

I believe your Personal Power is intact when you:

Some more Simon Sinek wisdom:
​"When we disengage, our minds are capable of wandering and solving problems. Disconnect from your devices so that new ideas and creativity can thrive." 
It is such good advice to spend some time thinking, allowing your creative thoughts to surface and then have a brainstorming session.
Once you have put your phone down for a bit, let your creative thoughts flow and you are ready to brainstorm with a neutral outsider - enjoy the benefits from brainstorming with a qualified coach  - Book a Session with Suzie Doscher.

posted by Suzie Doscher

The Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body.
   You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around.
2. You will learn lessons.
   You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called LIFE.  Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
   Growth is a process of trial and error…experimentation.  The ‘failed’ experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately ‘works’.
4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
   A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end.
   There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons.  If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. ‘There’ is not better than ‘Here’
   When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here’, you will simply obtain another ‘there’ that will again look better than ‘here’.
7. Others are merely mirrors of you.
   You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you.
   You have all the tools and resources you need.  What you do with them is up to you.  The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside of you.
   The answer to Life’s questions lie inside you.  All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
10. You will forget all of this. 
11. You can remember it whenever you want.

 
By Cherie Scott Carter

by Suzie Doscher

When you find yourself feeling sensitive or getting upset with someone's behaviour , it is safe to assume that one of our "buttons" has been pushed.
At this point it is good to remind yourself that you cannot control how other people behave, but you CAN control how you react.

Feeling affected by what other people do or say happens to everybody. Getting upset or bothered by it drains your energy. This is a fairly normal human reaction. It is difficult not to react when something has triggered an emotional reaction in you - pushed one of your buttons.

In the very moment when you are feeling triggered attempt to acknowledge and accept that your peace of mind has been disturbed.  Then focus your efforts on returning to a better frame of mind before you do anything / say something you might regret.

Always remember that your Number One Goal is to regain clarity of mind. The negative feelings or emotions that surface will pass like a wave, if you will allow them to move through.
To help them move through you take a couple deep breaths, exhaling the bad vibe. You can try this visualization:  Put the negative feelings in a boat, push it off shore and watch it along with your negative feelings drift away.. ...Click 'read more'

​Brilliant TED Talk on how to
CREATE LASTING POSITIVE CHANGE
It has been proven that if you take these actions daily you change your mindset. You will feel more positive and with a more positive mindset it is easier to see solutions, direct your attention to optimistic thoughts. With this you will feel more encouraged and motivated.

• 3 Gratitudes – think of 3 things per day you can be grateful for. (examples can be ‘a roof over your head’, ‘food on the table’ etc. – Many do not have that!)
• Journaling – write your thoughts down – this helps clear your mind.
• Exercise – can be a 30 minute walk does not have to mean a workout at the gym
• Meditation – sit quietly, observe your breathing and notice which thoughts surface – does not have to be sitting crossed legged on the floor with your fingers crossed. You can even ‘meditate’ while you are walking - keep your focus on your breathing and what you see while walking (I love looking at and taking in nature while I am walking)
• Random Acts of Kindness – there is no excuse not to be kind. A random act of kindess can be as simple as ‘share your smile with someone who does not have one’.

No harm in trying these steps out for one month. How about for December?

by Suzie Doscher,
​
As Henry Ford so wisely stated: "If you think you can, or cannot - either way you are right".
In other words if you think and therefore believe something to be true, then it is your truth.

• If you believe you cannot do something... you cannot and most probably will not even try, or try to find a way, to do it.
• If you believe you can figure something out ... you will find a way.
  
  

Your beliefs can be negative or positive, therefore limit or empower you.

If you are not quite 'the person you want to be', then it pays off to find out if it is a thought (belief) holding you back.
The thought could be anything from 'I do not know how', 'I do not have any support', 'I do not know where to start', 'I am uncertain about this,' etc.  ... Click 'Read More' below

By James Clear
​
Positive thinking sounds useful on the surface. (Most of us would prefer to be positive rather than negative.) But “positive thinking” is also a soft and fluffy term that is easy to dismiss. In the real world, it rarely carries the same weight as words like “work ethic” or “persistence.”

But those views may be changing.
​
Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile.
The impact of positive thinking on your work, your health, and your life is being studied by people who are much smarter than me. One of these people is Barbara Fredrickson.

Fredrickson is a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, and she published a landmark paper that provides surprising insights about positive thinking and its impact on your skills. Her work is among the most referenced and cited in her field, and it is surprisingly useful in everyday life.
Let’s talk about Fredrickson’s discovery and what it means for you...    Click 'Read More' below

By Suzie Doscher

​Being subjected to passive aggressive behaviour from anybody, be this in a shop, at home, in school or at work can be not only confusing but also hurtful and uncomfortable to be around.
Frequently this behaviour and manner of speaking comes from someone who has not learned how to express emotions, let alone negative ones. Instead of being in touch with their feelings, they redirect these emotions in a passive aggressive manner. Sometimes the person is not even aware of this.
Obviously this is a generalization and in no way should be thought of as the truth for everybody who behaves passive aggressively. Sometime people are just having a bad day and letting it out with inconsiderate and disrespectful manners.

Common characteristics of passive aggressive people:

• Difficulty with explaining the reason for their anger; they might not even know what lies underneath it all.
• Regular negative and aggressive behaviour.
• Unreasonable.
• Blaming others for personal failures.
• Exaggerating the depth of problems.
• Feeling unappreciated or misunderstood.
• Negative even when things are going well.

Click 'Read More' below

If I had to chose a favourite piece of advice it would have to be this one.
"Always trust your gut. It knows what your head has not figured out yet."

In my opinion, based on both personal and professional experience, I would say:
For a satisfying, successful life it is vital to connect with and listen to your 'gut' - your intuition. - your soul!
Best to make big or small decisions having checked in with ALL of you, not just your brain! ​