In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behaviour indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.”
This personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood, alcoholic parents, abusive behaviour, or early abandonment. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.
I imagine each and every one of us is a control freak, or takes on the behaviour of such, at some point or another. The fear of failure is what makes it so important to control everything when you do not trust anybody else to do a good job.
One difficult aspect of being around a control freak is accepting that they do not understand how their behaviour and choice of words affect the people around them. Another difficult aspect is not to take it personally. This behaviour comes from deep inside and the person is actually quite unaware of being a control freak.
If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself; remember that it will only get worse if you leave it alone. But if you take steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown.
Listen to the Audiobook narration by Suzie Doscher of the exercise: Work of Family Hijacked Your Life?
It is all too often that we feel our life is no longer our own. Too many commitments and responsibilities taken up all your time. No time for yourself and your self-care.
Listen to the exercise from BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments narrated by the author Suzie Doscher.
Paperback and ebook available on any Amazon store worldwide
You did it. You made it out — hopefully with some shred of sanity and sense of personal self-worth. But even if those things feel unrecoverable, they aren’t. You can get them back.
Maybe you’ve moved on to greener pastures. If that’s the case, well done. You’ve taken an important step towards preserving (or gaining back) your emotional and physical health.
Maybe, although less likely, your boss either moved on or was fired. Most of the time, these situations don’t fix themselves, as for some reason senior leadership would rather keep a single toxic boss employed than the multiple high-quality employees who leave because of them.
In either case, there’s a residual emotional and physical toll that lasts well beyond the end of the boss-employee relationship. I know; I’ve been there.
In the span of just two years of reporting to a toxic boss, I went from being a high-performing, high-potential engineering leader to nearly leaving the company I’d spent 15 years at because of one single person. My boss. That’s how badly I needed to get away from her.
Every summer, many people put aside their work, daily stresses and responsibilities and escape on a vacation, somewhere far away from reality. It may be a secluded retreat in the mountains, a camping trip with the kids, an arranged tour in another country, an Alaskan cruise, or days relaxing at an exotic beach or resort.
However, with the current pandemic including social distancing and travel restrictions, along with financial constraints for many, those plans may have to be temporarily shelved. But the desire to escape reality – for just a bit – is very much alive. So, with many people remaining in their homes, how can that off-work journey happen? We have some tips for making the best of the situation and creating cherished vacation memories without ever leaving home. It’s called a staycation.
What’s a staycation?
By Elizabeth Yuko, Ph.D., Bioethicist and writer
From early on — usually before we’ve even started our careers — we’re told about a magical thing called “work-life balance.” Essentially, this myth amounts to the idea that if we do everything right, we will somehow be able to achieve the elusive equilibrium of having a fulfilling and meaningful career, while keeping up an active social life, and being the ideal partner and family member. In reality, though, this perfect “balance” is nearly impossible to achieve.
That’s why at Thrive, we’re all about what our CEO and founder Arianna Huffington calls “work-life integration” — an approach focused on preserving your health and well-being and recognizing that there is no secret formula to “having it all.” In fact, the pressure we put on ourselves, and the stress that results from when we’re feeling as though we’re falling short in one or more aspects of our lives, can be a cause of burnout — precisely the thing that work-life “balance” is supposedly designed to avoid. Here are three small steps to help you aim for your own version of work-life integration: ...
By Leo Babauta, Creator of Zen Habits. Vegan, dad, husband.
For the last dozen years, I’ve been living a (relatively) simple life. At times, the complexity of my life grows, and I renew my commitment to living simply.
Living a simple life is about paring back, so that you have space to breathe. It’s about doing more with less, because you realize that having more and doing more doesn’t lead to happiness. It’s about finding joys in the simple things, and being content with solitude, quiet, contemplation and savoring the moment.
I’ve learned some key lessons for living a simple life, and I thought I’d share a few with you. ...
by Celeste Headlee
How many hours do you work every week?
Take just a moment and figure out your average. Be careful, though: I want you to include all of your time spent working. Not just the hours that you’re in the office, but the time it takes to check your email while watching TV, or responding to a quick text from a co-worker.
You’re not done yet, though. Now add up all of the time that you spend doing non-work activities while on the job. Any time that you’ve scanned through movie reviews or celebrity news on the internet, or done a little online shopping, or called your partner to ask what they want to have for dinner. More than half of all online purchases are made between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., and almost two-thirds of traffic on porn sites happens during the work day. When you add all that up, subtract it from your working hours. What is the final total?
By Carina Bonasera, Student Editorial Fellow
Human beings are hardwired to be social creatures. We are built to crave contact with other people and thrive when surrounded by friends who support and care for us. In fact, relationships can actually help you live a longer, happier life.
With the average full-time American employee spending about 43 hours per week at work, your job is one of the best places to get the recommended six hours per day (yes, six hours!) of social contact. Unfortunately, it’s also the place where many people tend to fall short in making friends.
When Gallup surveyed more than 15 million employees around the world, less than a third reported having a best friend at work — meaning that about 70 percent are missing out on the multitude of benefits that work friendships can bring.
by Nora Battelle, Multimedia Staff Writer at Thrive Global
76 percent of Americans — a clear majority — said they have or recently had a toxic boss, according to new research conducted by Monster and released today.
A positive work environment is crucial to performing good work — and to managing your own stress — and leadership often plays a vital part in setting that positive tone.
Toxicity, in the survey, took several different forms, and the numbers on all of them were high: 26 percent of bosses, according to Monster’s survey, are “power-hungry,” 18 percent are “micromanagers,” 17 percent are “incompetent” and 15 percent are simply absent (“What boss? He/she is never around,” as the survey phrased it).
These numbers are a stark contrast to the 19 percent of employees who see their boss as a mentor and the 5 percent who indicated that their boss is someone with whom they have “the best relationship.”
Alan Benson, Ph.D., a professor of Work and Organizations at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota, explains the significance of these numbers to Thrive Global: “Facing a bad boss can be one of the greatest challenges we can have when managing our careers.” He suggests that there are three courses to take when faced with a bad manager who stresses you out: “Exit the team, voice your concerns to the boss or to HR or just suffer through it.” The choice you make, according to Benson, should “depend on your exact circumstances,” but his advice gives some helpful questions to consider as you decide on your approach.
When to go to HR
“Toxic,” in the survey and otherwise, is used as an umbrella term for a lot of different types of behavior.
BY MALISSA CLARK - 3 MINUTE READ
When I tell people that I study workaholism for a living, I’m usually bombarded by suggestions of subjects I could do a case study on. It seems that everyone can think of at least one person in their lives that they’d label a workaholic–or, perhaps, they identify as a workaholic themselves.
The definition of workaholism has expanded over the years to include motivational, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components–but understanding why you’re overworking can help you unlock ways to deal with it.
A BRIEF TAXONOMY OF WORKAHOLISMThese are a few of the leading causes of overwork:
by Gordon Tredgold published on Inc.com
Executive coaching was not something I ever saw myself either signing up for, as I was always of the impression that only poor performers or under performers needed coaching and I never saw myself in that category.
That all changed around ten years ago when DHL decided that coaching was going to be a key part of their leadership development.
To be honest, I wasn't convinced that this was going to be of much benefit because at the time I was leading a $100m It program, and the coach assigned to me had never led a small project, let alone a large complex international change program,
But this turned out to be one of the pivotal moments in my career, one that instrumental in helping me move from Director level to Senior Vice President. Since then I have always looked to work with a coach, have sought our former coaches whenever I have been in need, and have now moved into the Executive coaching space myself as I can clearly see the benefits that it can bring.
Here are five things that I got from coaching which helped me in my career. ...Click 'Read More' below
Raise your self-awareness with this: