By Suzie Doscher
When you find yourself feeling sensitive or getting upset with someone's behaviour towards you, it is safe to assume that one of our "buttons" has been pushed. At this point it is good to remind yourself that you cannot control how other people behave, but you CAN control how you react. Feeling affected by what other people do or say happens to everybody. Getting too upset or bothered about it drains your energy. This is a fairly normal human reaction. It is difficult not to react when someone has pushed one of your buttons.
If you can recognize and accept in the moment that your peace of mind has been disturbed, you can then focus your efforts on returning to a better frame of mind.
Always remember that your Number One Goal is to regain your peace of mind. The negative feelings or emotions that surface will pass like a wave, if you will allow them to move through. You can take a couple deep breaths, exhaling the bad vibe, then visualise putting the negative feelings in a boat and watching it drift away from you.
Commit to restoring your balance and then do whatever it takes.
11 Steps You Can Take When Someone Has Pushed Your Buttons:
1. Acknowledge that, for whatever reason, you are feeling upset. It is okay to feel this way, do not deny yourself these feelings.
2. Assess what, if anything, you can do right now to help yourself.
3. Do you need some time out? Walk away for a couple of minutes?
4. Take a couple of deep breathes and let go of the negative emotions with each exhale.
5. You may need to say something that sets a boundary or expresses what you need.
6. Consider your response options and make sure you are ACTING not REACTING.
7. Make a mental list of your options.
8. Decide which one of these options feels best and would help you the most right now.
9. Decide what do you need to do next to follow through with the option you chose.
10. Proceed slowly. Remember that there may be nothing to do right now.
11. Appreciate that you have helped yourself find balance again.
The bottom line is that you want to endeavour to act, not react.
Should you find yourself in the company of someone who continually makes you lose your balance, it might be worthwhile to ask yourself, "Is this a person with whom I really want to continue spending time?" If the answer is no, figure out a compassionate way to disengage.
A Practical Handbook