by Suzie Doscher
When what you say and do, are contrary, the reality becomes what was done, rather than what was said. The more this happens the more your words are received as empty. Just as in the fable of the “Little boy who cried wolf”. The little shepherd boy repeatedly “cries wolf” claiming his flock is being attacked. Eventually when he in fact does have a problem and needs support, nobody believes him. The moral being, when he did tell the truth, no one believed him. My sister and I were fortunate. One house rule was: “Never issue an empty threat”…Our parents led by example and followed this rule. It actually made life simpler. You always knew where you stood.
If 55% of our communication is through our body language and 38% is the use of our voice, only 7% is left for the words we choose. If on top of this we do not back up what we say, it is no wonder “Actions do in fact speak louder than words”.
How often has someone expressed something to you with a ‘caring, loving, considerate’ choice of words, when the delivery was with a raised voice and aggressive body language? Rarely is it possible to put on a convincing act of body language.
Imagine how confused children can get when their parents actions do not match their words. How about saying “No” and then letting them get away with it anyways!
People believe non-verbal communication more readily than verbal communication. In business often you hear: “I am easily approachable”, and yet your door is always shut, you are stressed more often than not and grumpy when somebody wants to speak to you. This behaviour makes you “very unapproachable.”
What to do? The best first step to take is start observing yourself; find out if your behaviour matches your words. If not, consider making the necessary changes. It will not only make you feel better but also make you a better person.
A Practical Handbook