The answer to that question is: to you. You are choosing yourself as the priority - that is the bottom line of learning how to say “no”.
It can happen without you even noticing that your life no longer feels as though it is your own. Overwhelming work demands, busy family schedules, even modern technology seem to add stress by making us accessible all the time. Everything else becomes a priority, while you and your own personal life, values, beliefs, thoughts, wishes, and dreams come in second place, if not third. Your attention ends up being stretched in too many directions with no time left to think about yourself. The result is stress leading to more stress and hopefully not a burnout. I like to think of the much bigger picture of life when it comes to the understanding, motivation and learning of how to respect yourself in the first instance.
By no stretch of the imagination does this mean you will be disrespecting others and/or their wishes or job demands. It means you respect yourself and hold yourself in equal position to others. If you are thoughtful, openhearted and conscientious about how you treat people and your job, then surely you can only really give it your best if you are in
These are the most common reasons people say “yes” when in fact “no” might serve better:
Which ones apply in your case?
Ask the following questions to motivate yourself:
Which facets of your life feel the most neglected due to the consequences of saying “yes” too often?
For example, saying “no” to an offer to go out because what you really need is time at home for yourself. By saying “no”, you are giving yourself that time.
by Suzie Doscher from BALANCE - Interactive Workbook for Self-Coaching
A Practical Handbook